Learn to Fly: The Story of Jose Carioca, His Friends and A Naturalist
by TheNewIdea
Summary: Jose Carioca is a simple tour guide for Rio who leads a simple life. When Martinez, the landlord/mob boss, Maria, Jose's stripper girlfriend, the ever present Panchito Pistoles and the lovable American Donald Duck, who is on an "extended vacation" as well as a horde of other characters (including half the cast of Rio) get involved, Jose's life becomes anything but simple.
1. By Order of the Establishment

**"Welcome to Rio de Janeiro"**

Chapter One

By Order of the Establishment

Jose Carioca looked out from his hallow tree towards the city of Rio de Janeiro, thinking about the last time he was really home. It had been almost four years since he was in native Brazil, Jose told himself that he would stay for life this time, even going so far as to put a restraining order on Panchito to legally prevent the rooster from contacting him. Despite this, Jose still frequently ran into Panchito on more than one occasion, each time the rooster tried to convince him to return to the Three Caballeros, and each time the parrot denied the offer.

The sun rose to high noon. Jose flew down to the forest floor, to the large bathing pool at the base of his tree. Jose took off his shirt and hat and hung them on a low hanging branch, before stepping into the pool.

"What a beautiful day" Jose said to himself, "the sun is out, the neighbors are singing and here I am sitting in this pool. What a day this is going to be!"

Jose closed his eyes and gently drifted off to sleep.

Hours later, Jose was awaken by the flapping of wings, Jose opened his eyes and immediately jumped out the pool in a futile attempt to hide himself from whoever it was that had arrived.

"Who is it?" Jose asked as he shook himself off behind the tree and put on his clothes

"I'm surprised that you don't remember me Carioca" a deep voice answered, "But it has been a long time after all."

Jose peered out from behind the tree and was face to face with a large black vulture, "Martinez?" Jose said fearfully, "W-w-What are you doing here?"

Martinez shrugged, "Making my rounds, collecting my debts. The better question would be- What are you doing here at my tree in my pool Mr. Carioca?"

Jose moved out from behind the tree and lit a cigar.

"Now wait just a minute Senor" Jose began, "This is my tree and my pool. I paid good money for this piece of real estate, honest money."

Martinez laughed maniacally, "That's what you think!"

Martinez immediately got serious and right up in Jose's face, "When you left the country you voided your property. Since I'm the landlord around here, it makes this tree and this pool mine. You understand that?"

Jose shook his head in disagreement, "No" he said, "I never voided anything when I left. It's still in my name and it's still my property. You have no right to-"

Martinez put his wing over Jose's mouth, silencing him.

"I believe this" Martinez pulled out the deed to the land, "says otherwise. According to this official government document. This property and everything it encompasses, is mine."

Martinez removed his wing; Jose had a face of shock and disbelief.

"Please Senor" Jose begged, "Don't do this! Don't throw me out on the streets. I have a life here, a decent paying job, a girlfriend and a nephew who looks up to me like I'm his father. Don't take away my house."

Martinez laughed at Jose's statement, "You're nothing but a simple tour guide. Your girlfriend is a whore and your nephew almost destroyed Cristo Redentor. As for your house...it's still mine."

Jose began stammering; trying to find words, but Martinez only flew up to the tree and began chucking all of Jose's belongings out of it. Jose simply watched as priceless family heirlooms like a century old dresser, a box full of jewelry and Jose's personal collection of rare and one of a kind handmade cigars were thrown into the woods, never to be seen again.

"I'll get you for this Senor" Jose shouted, "One day I'm going to make you my bitch!"

Jose, not wanting to put up a fight at present, walked away and headed towards the streets of Rio.

Walking through the streets of Rio, Jose came across the local night club, _La Boco Boco_. Entering the club, Jose immersed himself in the world of ecstasy, acid, alcohol and dance music. To the right of the door was the bar, scattered around the room in various positions were several tables. On the back wall a stage, complete with four stripper poles was seen, to the right of the stage was the piano, the player was always the luckiest guy in the house, considering that after each show he got "special visits" from each dancer. To the left of the stage were the bathrooms. The nightclub itself was a rectangle and covered in black lights save for the bar, which had normal bulbs that emitted a subtle yellow light to contrast the blue atmosphere of the rest of the room.

Sitting at the counter, Jose looked at the bartender.

"Hey bartender!" he said shouting over the music, "a round over here por favor!"

The bartender who was at the other end of the counter, poured Jose a draft and slid it over the counter top, Jose catching it at the last second.

"Gracas Senor" Jose replied, "Voce tem o meu diz respeito."

The bartender looked at him as if he were crazy, "What did you say?" he asked.

Jose rolled his eyes and looked up, "I said, 'You have my regards' Senor."

The bartender nodded in response, "Next time just say it in English asshole."

Jose huffed. "Well excuse me" Jose said to himself, "but last I checked this was my country. And people in my country speak Portuguese. So who's the asshole for not knowing languages, the native or the guy who's only been here for like six months?"

Silence

"Exactly" Jose concluded.

Jose took a drink of the draft and pulled out a cigar, he then searched his pockets for his lighter, only to discover that a large hole with in his shirt pocket, which meant that his lighter, like the rest of his belongings, was lost forever.

"Damn it!" Jose cried as he banged his head on the counter in defeat, "What did I do to deserve this? All I did today was relax in a pool."

Jose looked towards the sky and continued

"Was it because I was naked? Was it because I forgot to pray to Christopher this morning? Okay...I'll do it now."

Jose stood up from the bar stool and got down on one knee; he folded his hands and began praying.

"São Cristóvão. Please show me a sign that this day isn't going to be complete shit. I'll do good on my end if you do good on yours. Deal?"

At that moment, weather it was by coincidence, an answer to his prayer or a freak accident, Jose was struck on the head by an unsuspecting elbow.

"Goodness!" the owner of the voice said as Jose screamed in pain and fell to the floor, "I'm sorry are you okay?"

Jose held his head as if it were about to burst open, spilling his brain out all over the floor.

"I'm okay" Jose replied through his teeth as he stood up, "You just have the hardest elbow in the world."

The owner of the voice, a man named Fernando Miguel, laughed in response. Fernando was the guy who always dressed in Hawaiian shirts and brown shorts, with thick circle rimmed glasses, a freakishly huge nose and a nasally laugh to accompany it. Saying that Fernando was socially awkward was a huge understatement.

Fernando extended his hand in greeting, "Fernando Miguel, Senor."

Jose stared at him, drawing back slightly in both confusion and surprise, "Seriously? That's your name, Fernando Miguel?"

Fernando nodded in response

"Are you sure Senor?" Jose continued, "Because you look an awful look like one of my tourists and Fernando Miguel is your name?"

Fernando nodded once again, "Yeah I know" he replied, "I'm just screaming filthy American tourist aren't I? Trust me my friend, I'm a native."

Jose, hearing this, went on the defensive.

"Watch it amigo. A lot of my friends are Americans. Hell, technically speaking _we _are Americans."

Fernando rolled his eyes, "Well yeah" he said, "on a technical level sir. But then you gotta think demographics, culture differences etc. That's just too much work for me, so I just say I'm Brazilian and leave it at that."

Jose shook his head, "You have a funny way of looking at things Senor Miguel. But I can't argue or complain about it, so I'll just let it go."

Fernando sat at the counter. It wasn't long before Fernando started to look intensely at Jose, as if he were studying him.

"What are you doing Senor?" Jose asked, getting more and more uncomfortable as Fernando's eyes got bigger, literally becoming bug eyed.

"Studying" Fernando answered in a monotone voice.

Jose scooted his stool over to the left, away from Fernando, but this only caused Fernando to scoot his stool closer to Jose.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jose replied trying to get him to stop his bug eyed stare.

In response Fernando lifted Jose's right wing and began looking at it in the same fashion, Jose tried to pull away but Fernando's grip was strong.

"Good flight feathers" Fernando exclaimed, "decent wingspan."

Fernando began lifting Jose's wing up and down, intimating the flying motion.

"Good flight pattern" Fernando looked at Jose's armpit, "Healthy underside."

While Fernando was "studying" him, Jose's face was one of shock, terror, and had the phrase, 'This guy is a loon' all over it.

"You wouldn't happen to be a green rough tailed Brazilian parrot would you?" Fernando asked, his eyes still bulging as he stared at Jose's face.

Jose slowly shook his head.

"Si" Jose replied as he poked Fernando's eyes back to normal, only for them to return to their bug eyed position, "Why?" Jose asked

Fernando laughed and moved his face closer to Jose's.

"I'm a naturalist you see. And I just happen to be studying your species, I'm practically interested in your social interactions, you know, mating rituals, displays of dominance..."

Jose pushed Fernando away with his left wing, almost causing Fernando to fall out his stool, which would've sent Jose right along with him for the naturalist was still grasping his right wing in a never ending death grip.

"Come back in three weeks Senor" Jose said, "I'll tell you all about it. Now would you kindly give me my wing back? I kinda need that."

Fernando finally reverted his eyes back to normal and looked down, for the first time noticing that he had Jose's wing.

"Oh of course" he said sheepishly as he released the wing, "Sorry about that I tend to get carried away sometimes."

Jose huffed and ordered another round.

As the night dragged on Jose continued to drink, so much so that he could barely stand. It didn't help that Fernando slipped Jose several dozes benzodiazepine or more common known as roofies, into Jose's drinks every time he ordered another round. Fernando simply waited for the bird to pass out cold on the bar counter, which took a surprisingly long time, considered that Jose just continued to order drinks.

_ "Jesus"_ Fernando thought to himself, _"You'd think he'd be dead by now."_

Jose then began laughing hysterically; turning to Fernando he spoke.

"Hey amigo. O que hora é ele?"

Fernando, who understood enough Portuguese to understand what Jose was talking about looked at his watch and gave his answer.

"It's 2:00 am."

At that moment, the bartender called the last call. Jose looked around, the feathers on his head were standing on its end, and his eyes were baggy and bloodshot red.

"Bartender" Jose shouted louder than usual, as a result of the alcohol," Outra rodada!"

Before the bartender could comply with Jose's request, the parrot collapsed on the floor, the drugs finally kicking in. Fernando let out a sigh of relief.

"About time" he said to himself as he picked up Jose, who had gone limp and slowly becoming dead weight.

"I'm taking you with me" Fernando said to Jose, who couldn't answer.

"We're going to be the best of amigos you and me Senor. We can stay up all night and watch movies; I can study you while you sleep and wash you, feed you, dry you, and dress you. Just like me and my roommate in community college...until he hung himself with a rope."

Fernando opened the door outside.

"He was always so full of life. Always running, screaming his head off as if he just won the lottery or something, don't know why he had to do it to me though."

Fernando shrugged and walked up the street towards the edge of Rio and his apartment complex that rested on the verge of the forest.

"Oh well" Fernando concluded, "None of that's going to happen though. Cause you and me...we're friends for life, that's amigos para a vida in Portuguese."


	2. Kidnapping

Chapter Two

Kidnapping, Even in the Name of Science, is Still Illegal

Jose woke up in a white robe inside the bathroom in a deep bathtub.

"What the hell?" Jose said to no one in particular, "Where am I?"

Jose looked around and noticed that this was not his bathroom.

"What the hell happened last night?" he continued as he stood up and stepped out of the bathtub, Jose then looked himself over, "And where are my clothes?"

Jose moved around in a circle, before seeing the door leading to the rest of the apartment.

Peering out, Jose stared out into a brown room. To his right was the living room, a TV and a pea green couch could be seen. To his left was the kitchen, like the bathroom it was completely white. Jose looked up and noticed that the bathroom was on the back wall of the apartment, everything else was open concept. The bedroom was in the corner of the room, a bed and dresser could be seen. Sleeping in the bed was Fernando, the naturalist.

"Who the hell is that guy?" Jose said at a soft whisper, as he gave the apartment a once over, "and who decorated this place? The color scheme is awful!"

Fernando stirred in his bed, slowly waking up from sleep.

Jose crept out of the bathroom, intimating Scooby-Doo and praying to Saint Christopher that he wouldn't step on a creaky floorboard or do something stupid and trip over carpet and wake up Fernando. Both of these things inevitably happened of course. Just as Jose was about to enter the living room and head for the door, his right foot stepped on a creaky board, causing Fernando to stir further. In an effort to prevent another incident, Jose hovered above the ground and moved towards the door, only upon landing to trip over the welcome mat, slamming his beak hard into the front door, causing Fernando to shoot up, fully awake.

Fernando smiled as he saw Jose at the door.

"No you don't" Fernando exclaimed, "You're not getting away that easily Jose. Not until I've examined you properly."

Jose was too busy fixing his beak, which was crooked, to worry about Fernando who slowly walked towards him.

"As my American friend Donald would say" Jose said as he readjusted his beak, "That's going to hurt like a motherfucker."

Fernando reached Jose and slapped him in the face.

"Watch your language Mister" he said childishly, "Or I'll be forced to feed you the seed again."

Jose stared at Fernando with a confused look on his face, "What did you feed me?" Jose asked, suspicion setting in.

Fernando shrugged, "Just some bird seed...full of steroids."

Jose did a dry spit take and hovered up to match Fernando's eye level.

"I'm sorry Senor" Jose began, "But did you say that you laced the bird seed with steroids?"

Fernando nodded, "Yup. I want to make sure that you're ready when the mating season comes around. I'm currently examining your species sexual efficiency under certain drugs to hopefully better understand their effects on humans during several situations."

Jose sighed in disbelief, "You are one messed up dude Senor. I don't need help with my 'sexual efficiency' as you so put it. I'm perfectly fine on my own. In fact, I prefer that I don't have drugs coursing through my veins when I'm doing my business, thank you very much."

Jose moved towards the door once again.

"The very idea that you want to watch me is in itself, very creepy" Jose continued, "I'm very confused as to what you are. Are you a naturalist like you claim to be, a freaking furry or just a pervert? Either way, I'm calling the cops, for illegal substance possession and kidnapping. Have a nice life in prison being someone's bitch."

Before Jose could open the door, Fernando pulled out a Taser and fired it at Jose.

"Oh no!" Fernando screamed, "You ain't leaving that easily. We're going to be friends, best friends!"

Jose, who had collapsed to the ground in pain, remembered the bracelet he wore on his wrist in case of emergencies. The bracelet was a gift from Donald, as a way of communication between The Three Caballeros to come to each other's aid when the need arose. This was definitely one of those times. Jose pressed the small button on the bracelet and bravely accepted his fate as he waited for rescue to arrive.

Fernando tied Jose to a chair in front of a table, upon which, the naturalist sat various types of foods, all of them disgusting. Eating just one of the dishes would make you sick for a week. Fernando brought a fork of the first dish, which was a grayish color, towards Jose's beak.

"Eat it" he demanded. Jose shook his head; Fernando pressed harder, "Eat it and I'll let you go."

Jose still shook his head, anything was better than the food at this point. Fernando rolled his eyes and violently pulled Jose's beak open, stuffing the food inside. Jose immediately spat it back out before he could shallow.

"I'm not eating that shit!" Jose screamed

"Language" Fernando said sternly.

Jose rolled his eyes in annoyance, "Go to hell Fernando. You and your creepy naturalist research. I'm not doing this anymore. Now let me go before things get rough."

Fernando laughed, "Right...what's going to happen. Do you have an armada coming to save you? No one knows you're here. It's just you and me, forever. Cause we're best friends."

Jose bit down on Fernando's hand, "If this is your idea of friendship then we're going to have a very estranged relationship!"

Fernando turned Jose's chair towards the TV.

"Look" Fernando said, "I may be being a bit harsh I know. But it's all in the name of science. Please try and understand all the good I'm doing. I'm actually surprised that you're making all this fuss. I'm offering you sex and you just flat out deny it, what's wrong are you gay or something?"

Jose huffed angrily, "I am not gay Senor. I happen to have a girlfriend. And the reason why I'm putting up so much of a fuss, as you say is because you drugged me, kidnapped me, took away my clothes, put me in this disgusting white urine stained sheet, tied me a chair and fed me food that gives me the runs!"

Fernando laughed hardheartedly at this, "That's all research Jose. Research. Now that research is done."

Fernando turned on the TV and flipped to the Brazilian Soap Opera channel, Jose's least favorite channel in the entire world.

Six days and seven hours later, Jose was still tied to the chair in front of the TV, watching the same soap opera that Fernando put on a loop. Jose was only allowed one bathroom break per day under Fernando's supervision, this was followed by Fernando doing research for two hours and the rest of the day was spent in front of the TV.

"No, don't do it Stephanie!" Jose cried, having completely gone mad cap crazy, "He's just going to cheat on you with Tony because he's gay, but you don't know that cause you're stupid Stephanie."

Jose then began laughing.

"Stephanie!" he said uncontrollably through his laughter, "Why Stephanie..."

Jose's laughter turned into that of a person who smoked as much weed as Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson did in a year. His mannerisms were also taking on that effect, his eyes became glazed over, his head rolled slowly favoring the right side and his laughing was slower.

"Stephanie!" Jose cried once again, his voice exactly like Johnny 5 from Short Circuit, "I told you...I told you he was goanna do it. But you didn't listen did you? That's because you're nothing but a whore Stephanie. A big, fat, ugly whore!"

Fernando came in with a plate of the disgusting food, which Jose now ate without question, having completely submitted to Fernando's demands.

"See Jose" Fernando said leaning in, "I always get what I want. Now I have you and soon you'll be happier than a dying hyena on laughing gas."

Jose nodded slowly, still in his hazy dream like state.

"You're a nice man Fer..nan..do" Jose said slurring, "A very nice man" Jose continued, "I think...I think I like you Senor. No wait! I don't like you...I love you!"

Fernando smiled knowingly, "I know Jose" he said, "I know."

At that moment a loud crash came from the window. Fernando turned around and saw nothing. Then it happened again.

"What was that?" Fernando asked as he walked over to the window and looked around, still seeing nothing.

When he turned around, Fernando saw Donald Duck and Panchito Pistoles, untying Jose from the chair. Donald casually looked up the knot he was working on and spoke.

"Oh hello" he said in a friendly and casual manner as if he were meeting Fernando on the street, "Are you the one that we've been sent to beat the shit out of?"

Fernando rolled his eyes and pulled out his Taser, causing Panchito to pull out his guns.

"One move Senor Miguel" Panchito exclaimed, "And you're going to get a bullet in your head. Understand me?"

Fernando nodded and lowered the Taser, lifting his hands up in the air.

Donald looked up and whistled, in an instance a large hole was created in the ceiling, the sound of helicopter blades roared above the apartment.

"We're good!" Donald screamed as he untied Jose from the chair, who was still mad cap laughing throughout all of this.

A harness was thrown down; Donald strapped Jose, himself and Panchito to it, and gave the signal to be hoisted up to the helicopter. Once they were safely inside, the helicopter flew off out of sight.


	3. Air Space

Chapter Three

Air Space

It took Jose a several minutes to realize where he was and what was happening. Looking around the first thing he saw was Donald. Smiling, Jose extended his wing.

"Olá Senor Donal', how we doing eh?"

Donald smiled and took Jose's wing.

"Do you know where you are Jose?" Donald asked.

Jose looked around once more, ultimately looking down, Jose immediately shrank back.

"Why are we up so high?" Jose screamed, "And what is that sound?" he asked looking up, having absolutely no idea that he was inside in a helicopter.

Panchito laughed, "You are in a helicopter mi amigo! Come over and give ol' Panchito a hug!"

Jose cringed at the sound of Panchito's voice, still remembering all the pain that Panchito had caused him over the years.

"Panchito?" Jose said, "Please tell me I'm dreaming Senor Donald. Please tell me that Panchito isn't in front of me. Please tell me that!"

Donald laughed halfheartedly, "Why would I lie to you?" he responded.

Jose gave Donald the evil eye, "Damn it Donald! Why did you bring him? Why! Are you trying to make my life a living hell? Is this revenge for the fireworks bull? I already told you I was sorry like a million times, what more do you want!"

Donald smiled at Jose and simply shook his head, "I already forgave you for that Joe" Donald answered, "I brought Panchito along because I knew that I couldn't do it without him."

Panchito puffed up his chest and beat it proudly, "That's right Senor" Panchito added, "We're the Three Caballeros. We stick together to the end."

Jose rolled his eyes and faced the rooster for the first time, his eyes burning red with hatred, his nostrils at the end of his beak flaring with rage.

Panchito shrank back a bit at the sight of Jose; "Eh?" he said turning to Donald, "what's going on?"

Donald only retained his smile and said nothing. Jose raised his wings as he attempted to go for Panchito's throat.

"I'm goanna kill you!" Jose screamed, "I'm goanna kill you with my bare hands...then I'm goanna reanimate you just so I can kill you again, violently-"

Jose pointed upwards

"By cutting off your head with those helicopter blades and then watch as your body runs around in circles in this helicopter before I finally kick it off and watch it fall to the ground and get eaten by sharks!"

Panchito shook this off, "Come on now you don't mean that do you-?"

Before Panchito could finish his sentence, Jose was already at his neck, choking him. Jose then began punching the rooster repeatedly.

"I appreciate you for saving my life Pistoles," Jose began, "I really do. But good God are you annoying as hell!"

Donald stood up, moving closer to Jose to get him off of Panchito when he thought that the rooster had had enough. In the meantime, Jose continued to beat Panchito senseless.

"Why are you doing this?" Panchito cried, "Why!"

Jose laughed sarcastically and turned to Donald, "Did you hear what he just said to me? He just asked why I was beating the shit out of him. As if he didn't already know..."

Jose gave on final punch to the rooster; this one gave Panchito a black eye.

Donald finally stepped in, "That's enough Jose" he said as he pulled him off of Panchito, "He isn't worth it."

Jose huffed, "You got that right...worthless piece of shit."

Panchito stood up, "Okay" he said, "I deserved that."

Panchito sat down back in his seat. Jose shook his head and grabbed Panchito's shirt collar.

"I believe" Jose replied as he lifted Panchito off of his feet and into the air, "that I put a restraining order on you. One thousand miles away at all times."

Jose lifted Panchito towards the edge of the helicopter.

"What are you doing?" Panchito yelled as he hung out of the helicopter looking down.

"Oh you know" Jose began again, "Nothing Really Specific."

Panchito's eyes grew wide at this, he began stammering, "N-n-no. Please! Anything but that, Nothing Really Specific is a nightmare. Do you know why?"

Jose shook his head in response, "Why Panchito?" he asked.

Panchito laughed hysterically as Jose's grip loosened, Panchito slowly began slipping.

"It's Nothing Really Specific."The rooster replied, "A place with absolutely no definition! It's a hodgepodge of random craziness. At least you have an idea on you are. That place is a mess!"

Jose then threw Panchito off the helicopter the rooster only flew away to safety.

Panchito struggled to maintain his balance at the high attitude, "I'll be back" he screamed as he leveled out, "You'll see...you need me!"

Jose rolled his eyes as Panchito became a distant dot of red in the hustle of the Rio streets.

Donald sighed and turned towards Jose, "We'll just do our best to avoid him."

Jose stared at him with confusion, "We?" Jose asked, "What do you mean 'We'?"

Donald shrugged, "I'm staying here for a days. I could use a vacation."

Jose shook his head in disagreement. "Look Donald" he said, "I appreciate you for saving my life. But it's still my life. Let me live it and I'll let you live yours."

Donald nodded in understanding as he handed Jose his clothes, which he put on without question. "Alright Jose" Donald replied somewhat sadly, "I'll leave you alone. But if you ever need anything-"

Donald lifted up his sleeve, revealing his bracelet

"Just buzz me."

Jose smiled and embraced his friend, "You've always been there for me, Senor. You and me, we're irmãos."

Donald smiled in response, remembering the little Portuguese that Jose had taught him years ago.

"Os três Caballeros, o tempo que você gosta ou não, são um bando de irmãos." Donald answered, "Para quem sempre fica comigo por grossas e finas, com sangue, suor e lágrimas, é meu irmão."

Jose stared at the duck in surprise, "Damn" he said, "that was beautiful. The readers won't understand it but that was beautiful."

Donald turned towards the audience that wasn't there. "You might just want to Google that" he replied, "seriously just Google it."

Jose raised an eyebrow, "Who are you talking to?" he asked, following Donald's gaze and only seeing the city.

"Were you talking to Rio Senor?" Jose said pressing harder for clarification.

Donald rolled his eyes, "No. I was talking to them" he exclaimed as he gestured towards the audience.

Jose laughed, "You are loucura Senor! Really you are."

Donald huffed in response, "I am not crazy. There's an audience right there, look!"

Jose followed Donald's wing as the duck gestured towards the audience. Jose only saw Rio.

"I don't see anything Donald" he said, "Did you consider going to therapy?"

Donald took offense to this, "I'm already in therapy" he grumbled.

Jose patted the duck's shoulder, "Then you my friend" he said as he pulled out a cigar and motioned for a light, which Donald gave, "need a new therapist. We have pretty good ones in Rio."

Jose stopped himself after this, for he realized what he had just done.

Donald shrugged, "Okay how good are they?"

Jose cringed and secretly began beating himself up, he did his best to cover it up.

"They're horrible" Jose began, "95% of their patients commit suicide by jumping off Pão de Açúcar."

Donald stared at him in confusion, "What's Pão de Açúcar Jose?"

Jose rolled his eyes, "Really? A paragraph ago you spoke fluent Portuguese and now you can't speak a word...stupid Americans and your language retention skills. You might know it as Sugarloaf Mountain."

Donald looked to his left and saw the mountain, "Is that it?" Donald asked.

Jose sighed in annoyance, "Yes Senor. That's Pão de Açúcar."

Donald gulped at the thought of all those people falling to their deaths.

"95% huh?" Donald asked fearfully.

Jose nodded slowly; thankfully that Donald was actually falling for his lie.

Donald thought his situation over, "Well" he said, "Since I'm a bird I can just fly away. I don't need to jump off. So...who's the best therapist in Rio?"

Jose slapped his face with his wing in disbelief.

"Para o amor de São Cristóvão!" (For the love of Saint Christopher)

Jose shook his head and continued, gesturing over to Rio, "The best therapist in Rio Donald...is Rio herself. Go experience it. Just go experience it, without me."

Donald nodded, finally getting the hint, as the helicopter approached the beaches, getting low enough to the ground for both birds to exit the helicopter and stick three point landings for no reason other than to look badass. Jose looked around and noticed that they were surrounded by girls, all of them in bikinis.

"Donald...how's your relationship with Daisy?" Jose asked with a concerned look on his face.

Donald also looked around, a large smile on his face.

"Who's Daisy!" he cried as he lifted his hands in complete and total surrender as he allowed himself to be surrounded by women, who graciously took of the tops of the bikinis.

"Yes!" Donald exclaimed, "I love this place."

Jose looked on in disbelief, hoping that Donald being surrounded by women would remind him of Daisy, and make him rethink his decision of staying in Rio.

"Damn it!" Jose yelled to himself, "Alright everyone that's it, show's over!"

At this all of the women put on their bikini tops and walked away to another part of the beach. Donald stared at them in shock.

"What was that!" he yelled to Jose, "I was about to get some"

Jose slapped Donald hard in the face, "You have a girlfriend Senor. As do I. Now shut up and go enjoy the other parts of Rio. Okay?"

Donald slumped his shoulders in defeat but complied with Jose's request and walked away towards the marketplace.

Jose began cursing to himself in Portuguese, promising himself that he would find a way to get rid of Donald and Panchito. Even it meant going to unfathomable, unspeakable lengths. But for now, Jose simply made his way back to the forest, heading towards his girlfriend's house as fast as he was able to fly.


	4. Angels and Devils

Chapter Four

Angels and Devils

Jose reached his girlfriend's tree just as afternoon hit. Jose tried his best to put on his good face. He threw his cigar to one side, straightened his hat and ruffled his tail feathers to make himself look more presentable and to try and block out the past week.

"Maria meu amor, você casa?" Jose called, only to be greeted with silence.

"Olá?"

Still nothing.

Jose flew up on a low branch, his wing over his beak in deep thought.

"Let's see" he began to himself, "Where is she usually during this hour?"

Jose closed his eyes trying to think of all the places that she could be, only images of nightclubs and bars appeared. Jose sighed and looked up.

"Of course Jose, she's working! Now which bar does she work at during the day?"

Jose searched his mind

"La Boco Boco, Brazilian Beat...no those are the Fridays and Saturday nights Jose."

Jose sighed deeply

"I guess that's what you get for dating a stripper."

While Jose was thinking about which bar his girlfriend was at, Martinez appeared from behind.

"What are you doing here?" Martinez stated, causing Jose to jump out of his feathers and cower in fear.

"Martinez!" Jose screamed

"Yes Jose. Me." Martinez continued, "What are you doing at Senora Maria's house?"

Jose shrugged, "She's my girlfriend. I thought you knew that, considering that you insulted her a few days ago."

Martinez chuckled to himself, assumed by Jose's statement, "Is that what she is?" he said sarcastically, "Maria is your girlfriend? Really?"

Jose stood up, his stance becoming firm as he got on the defensive.

"What do you want Senor?" Jose asked, not really wanting an answer to his question and just wanting Martinez to leave.

"Gee I had no idea" Martinez said ignoring Jose's comment, "I'm sorry Mr. Carioca, if I would've known that you guys were a thing I never would've offered."

Martinez hung his head, feigning sadness.

"You see after I...romanced her-"

Martinez didn't even get a chance to finish his sentence, for as soon as the words escaped him, Jose was on top of him.

"You did what!" Jose screamed

"I romanced her Jose" Martinez said, still playing along, "I'm sorry."

Jose spat on Martinez before he punched him in the stomach, "You're lucky that I'm a parrot of principles. Otherwise you'd be six feet underground you bastard. You can take away my home but you will not take away mi amor. Compreender?"

Martinez nodded rapidly, letting Jose have his way.

"Si, si" Martinez exclaimed, "On my word, I won't touch her again. I promise."

Jose got off of Martinez; it took everything he had to not kill him where he was standing, but Jose, being a bird of principles, held his ground.

"Get out of here Senor" Jose commanded, "The next time I see you, I'm making you not just my bitch. I'm goanna do a Fernando Miguel on your sorry ass."

Martinez raised his eyebrows in confusion at this, "I'm sorry, you were going to do what?"

Jose rolled his eyes, "A Fernando Miguel. Trust me you don't want to know what it means. Don't worry though, you'll find out soon enough."

Martinez huffed, "Just remember Mr. Carioca. I'm the law here. You do what I say, not the other way around."

Jose laughed hysterically in disbelief, "It doesn't look that way from I'm standing."

Martinez left almost as quickly as he came. Jose wiped his beak with his wing and looked around, before heading down back into the streets of Rio.

Fernando walked around the marketplace, looking at the exotic birds trying to find one similar to Jose, when he accidentally ran into Donald. Donald was shopping at the same place, looking for someone to spend the day with.

"Excuse me" Fernando said walking over, "Do you happen to be a North American waterfowl white duck?"

Donald rolled his eyes, recognizing Fernando.

"No" Donald replied, "I'm not a North American waterfowl white duck. That doesn't even make any sense. But I am the guy whose about to shove a birdcage up your ass if you don't leave me alone."

Fernando shied away at this, "Look I'm just a naturalist. That's all."

Donald nodded sarcastically, "Uh-huh, a naturalist with a creepy bird fetish and no friends. You should be arrested Miguel. It's people like you that make me proud to be an American."

Fernando slapped Donald in the face, causing Donald to slap Fernando ten times as hard. Fernando got a large smile on his face; Donald's was bigger, more demonic. At that moment, Donald's Shoulder Angel and Shoulder Devil appeared. Angel spoke first.

"Don't do it Donald. Just walk away."

Devil whispered in Donald's other ear, "This guy kidnapped your friend and tried to sell him into a sex trade. He deserves to get the shit beat out of."

Angel turned to Devil, "He did what?"

Devil rolled his eyes. Then Devil's Shoulder Angel and Shoulder Devil appeared on his shoulder. Just like with Donald, Devil's Angel spoke first.

"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?"

Devil turned towards his Angel, "What are you talking about?"

Devil's Angel huffed, "Come on, admit it you like Angel and you know it."

Devil turned towards his Devil, "What do you think?"

Devil's Devil shrugged, "I don't know what the hell he's talking about. But what I do know is that Donald is still standing that with that creepy grin on his face just asking to be slapped."

No sooner did Devil's Devil say this did Donald get slapped by Fernando again, Donald however, remained motionless, unable to make a decision until both Angel and Devil had a chance to speak their minds. Devil was still thinking things over.

Donald's Shoulder Angel turned towards Devil.

"Devil?" Angel asked, "Are you okay?"

Devil nodded slowly, "Yeah...I'm fine buddy. Just getting my thoughts together is all."

Angel raised his eyebrows at this, "Did you just call me buddy?"

Devil tensed up and whispered back in Donald's ear, "Just slap him senseless okay."

Devil turned back to Angel, his face redder than usual from embarrassment.

"I wasn't talking to you" he lied, "I was talking to Donald."

Angel nodded understandingly, "Sure you were" he said, "its okay buddy. I understand."

Devil's Angel whispered in Devil's ear, "Now's your chance. Just tell that you appreciate him as a person."

Devil shot a piercing glance at his Angel, "Are you crazy! I can't do that. It'd compromise my position."

Devil's Angel shook his head, "Just because you're a Devil. Doesn't mean that you're a bad guy, you could give actual helpful advice you know."

Devil's Devil rolled his eyes and turned towards Devil's Angel, "What are you talking about? He's Devil. He has to be bad to balance Angel. Don't you know anything?"

Devil looked at both of them and then at Donald, who remained frozen.

"Okay guys" Devil said referring to his own Angel and Devil, "That's enough."

Devil's Angel bowed respectfully and disappeared. Devil's Devil stayed on Devil's shoulder, "Look out Devil, he's about to strike again!"

Devil looked at Fernando, who was just about to hit Donald again, Devil quickly turned to Angel.

"Angel listen to me man, Donald is about to get really hurt if we don't do something. So do me a favor and go away."

Angel shook his head, "I can't do that until you come up with a decision."

Devil turned back towards his Devil, "Get out of here. You're not helping."

Devil's Devil sighed, "Alright, alright I'm going. Geez, guy can't have a little fun."

Devil's Devil disappeared.

Fernando's hand was seconds away from striking Donald a second time, this slap if successful, would've sent Donald into the fruit cart that had gotten behind him during the time that the duck remained frozen, demonic smile still across his face, his back arched forward.

"Angel" Devil said sternly, "If you don't get out of here. Donald is going to get slapped so hard he'll be sent back to last Tuesday."

Angel smiled and turned towards Donald, "Listen to Devil for a few minutes Donald. He'll take care of yah."

Angel then turned towards Devil, "Give him Hell for me."

Angel then disappeared.

Devil smiled in return, "Believe me I intend to."

Devil quickly turned towards Donald, "Lift your left wing, block his slap and counter it with one of your own."

Donald raised his left wing, blocking Fernando's slap, with his right Donald clenched a fist and punched the naturalist in the face, giving him a black eye.

"Good!" Devil said cheering Donald on, "Now run through the marketplace and knock down as much stuff as you can. Make this guy really feel pain!"

Donald punched Fernando a second time and burst out into a run, going past fruit stands, fish markets, a carpet dealer and an information desk, knocking down everything that was within reach. Fernando chased after him, humorously trying to avoid the obstacles that Donald created and failing. Devil looked behind to see Fernando's head sticking through a cart.

"Alright Donald" he said, "You can stop now. We're in the clear."

Donald stopped and caught his breath. Angel appeared next to Devil on the same shoulder.

"I always knew you had it yah Devil" Angel said, "You really can do good things."

Devil smiled knowingly, "You know...you're not so bad Angel. Not bad at all."

Angel extended his wing, "Friends?" he asked.

Devil sighed, _"I'm goanna burn for this"_ he thought to himself, "Sure why not" Devil answered as accepted the handshake.

A sharp pain went through Devil's back, causing him to pull his wing back. Angel hung his head sadly.

"Oh yeah" Angel replied, "I forgot. We can't really be friends can we?"

Devil sighed heavily as Angel disappeared and reappeared on Donald's other shoulder.

"No we can't" Devil answered, "but that doesn't mean that we can't try."

Angel and Devil each gave a short laugh before disappearing.

Jose came around the corner just as the sun began to go down, for Donald had stopped on the same street that another nightclub, Amazon's Rest, was located. Amazon's Rest was the bar that Maria worked during nights.

"Donald?" Jose exclaimed as he walked over, "What are you doing here?"

Donald shook his head in confusion, "I-I-I have no idea. Where am I?"

Angel and Devil appeared once again on Donald's shoulder.

"You're in front of Amazon's Rest dunderhead" Devil answered, "Now go inside and have fun."

Angel nodded in agreement, "But not too much fun. We wouldn't want Daisy finding out would we?"

Devil shook his head in disbelief, "Donald broke up with Daisy."

Angel looked at Donald with disbelief, "Where was I? When did this happen?"

Devil laughed, "While you were busy prancing and singing like an idiot up in the sky. I was down below actually listening in, doing my job like I'm supposed to! Donald broke up with Daisy on the way to Brazil."

Angel folded his arms across his chest, "And why did he do that pray tell?"

Devil sighed, "You have no experience with women do you? If you were stuck with the same girl for fifty years, you'd want to find another one too. Believe me I know from experience."

Angel nodded, now he understood, turning towards Donald he spoke into his ear. "Go in there and get yourself laid. But use protection okay?"

Devil nodded in agreement, "Yeah" he added into Donald's other ear, "otherwise your junk will be burning for weeks and trust me it's not a good feeling."

Jose then led Donald into the bar, Devil turned to Angel.

"Hey Angel" Devil began, "why don't we stick around for a bit? Have some fun of our own?"

Angel laughed in disbelief, "Are you serious! I could get in trouble. I'm Angel, I can't get in trouble. It would mean- it would mean..."

Devil cut him off

"Come on man, you can't live your life in this shell all the time. You're a duck not a turtle."

Angel waved his wing playfully, "Ah. Not a duck, just part of Donald's conscious."

Devil nodded, "Who is a duck. Now shut up and live a little with me!"

Angel sighed, "Alright Devil you win" he said reluctantly, "I'll try to have some fun."

Devil laughed warmly, "Do my friend. Do have some fun, there is no try."

Angel laughed sarcastically as Jose and Donald opened the door to the bar and walked inside.


	5. The Wingmen

Chapter Five

The Wingmen

Amazon's Rest with the twin sister of La Boco Boco, everything was just mirrored. Another major difference between La Boco Boco and Amazon's Rest was that while both were nightclubs, this particular bar was a salsa bar. Walking in to _Papa Americano_ by Yolanda Be Cool, Jose and Donald made their way over to the bar, Angel and Devil began dancing on Donald's shoulders, leaning on the right side and rolling their arms in rhythm.

"Now this is music amigo" Jose said turning to Donald

"Yeah, those Australians really know how to make a hit song don't they?" Donald replied.

Jose nodded his head in agreement as his head swiveled around a full 360 degrees trying to look for Maria.

Maria was on stage humping her stripper pole, dressed in an exotic outfit styled similar to Princess Leia's, when Jose found her. Maria, a dusky parrot, was everything that Jose needed and it wasn't because she was a stripper and was currently dry docking a pole. It was because Jose was in love with her. Walking over, Jose straightened his bowtie and his hat and began doing the samba in an effort to get as close as possible to the stage.

Angel and Devil stopped dancing, Angel turned to Devil.

"This could get ugly" he said

"Let's move" Devil answered.

Angel and Devil disappeared and reappeared on Jose's shoulders, each of them now identical to the parrot.

"Should we talk to him now or wait till he gets to the stage?" Angel asked.

Devil had to think about it for a minute, bringing on his own Angel and Devil.

"Would you guys knock it off?" Devil pleaded turned towards them, "I don't need you for everything."

Devil's Angel and Devil laughed simultaneously, "Yes you do" they said in unison.

Devil sighed annoyingly, "Alright what meaningless advice do you have now?"

Jose continued dancing towards the stage, Devil's Devil turned towards Devil, "Here's what you do. Tell Angel that he should tell Jose to dance as provocatively as possible. That'll get her attention."

Devil stared at his Devil with a disgusted look, "Isn't that a little...too much?"

Devil's Devil rolled his eyes, "What have the Angels been filling your head with? You're Devil. You're supposed to be the one to lead people down the path that rocks. Not the path that goes through the flower fields. Now do your thing or I'm goanna call Satan and tell him that you're not doing your job."

Devil huffed, "Satan can just go home for all I care. He's annoying, always getting into people's business and never lets me have any fun."

Devil's Devil cringed. "I really wish you wouldn't have said that. Now you're going to Super Hell."

Devil laughed in response, "Super Hell! That's a myth. There's no such thing as-"

Before Devil could finish his sentence, he disappeared, for the time being sent to Super Hell, leaving Angel alone on Jose's shoulder.

Jose reached the stage. "That's it" he said slowly, "Work it!"

Jose pulled out hundred dollar bills.

"Retira-la" Jose continued, "Retira-la!"

Maria complied with Jose's request and flashed him.

"Deixe chover!" Jose screamed as he threw more hundreds Maria's way.

Maria slid down the pole, leaned in and spoke.

"What the hell are you doing here Jose!" Maria said as she gritted her teeth, "You know how I work!"

Jose shrugged, "Come on mi amor, I never get to see you work. Do some more...please?"

Maria huffed, "If my boss finds you it'll be the end of me. He'll think I'm playing favorites!"

Jose completely ignored the fact that Maria's boss was a male, Angel however did not.

"Whoa!" he cried, "Red flag...red flag going way up!"

Angel looked around desperately, trying to find Devil, out of options; Angel began to pray.

"Lord" he began, "Please bring Devil back. I really need him right now. I know that he's a Devil and not really worth your time or anything, but could you do it as a favor to me? He's my best friend."

In an instant Devil reappeared, he was pale and his face was stricken with fear, but it was still Devil.

"Dude, are you alright?" Angel asked.

Devil shook his head, "No" he replied, "Super Hell...don't go there. It's- it's terrible."

Angel stared at him confusingly, "How bad is it?"

Devil shivered at the thought, "I was strapped to a chair. In front of me was a TV, my eyes were taped open. I was forced to watch the entire series of Family Matters sped up to four times the speed."

Angel cringed at the thought, "I am so sorry Devil" he replied, "I really am. But right now we got work to do."

Devil nodded slowly and pulled himself together. Angel filled him in on what had transpired, Devil in response, walked around to where he was looking Jose dead in the face and slapped him repeatedly. This caused the bells in Jose's head to ring, sending multiple signals and every shade of red flag imaginable.

"Wait" Jose said, "Your boss is a guy?"

Maria nodded, "Yeah" she answered, "his name is Marcus, Marcus Baptist."

Jose practically fainted at the sound of Marcus' name. "Marcus! I'm competing with a Marcus! Damn it I can't catch a break can I?"

Maria rolled her eyes as she continued her routine; she had just finished licking the pole.

"You're not competing Jose" Maria replied, "You know that I only have eyes for you."

Jose huffed, for a moment not believing her.

"Right. Like I'm supposed to believe that Marcus just leaves you alone, like he doesn't touch you?"

Maria nodded in response, "Yes. Yes you are. I'm a stripper Jose, not a hooker. There's a difference."

Jose laughed half heartedly, "What difference is that?"

Maria shook her head, "My customers...can only look. Even Marcus can't touch me; if he does I have a legal right to spray him with mace."

This did nothing to reassure Jose, who at this point only heard what he wanted to hear.

"Well I am not a customer" Jose exclaimed, "I am your boyfriend. Does that mean anything?"

Maria smiled, leaned in and gave her answer, "It means everything Jose. Because unlike these guys" Maria gestured over the crowd, "you get to touch. Even in unexplored territories."

The last part Maria whispered, getting close to Jose' ear, sending a shiver up the parrot's spine, Angel and Devil's mouth were agape, their eyes bulging out of their heads.

"Damn" they said in unison.

Devil and Angel composed themselves and began working Jose out of his situation. Jose gave a small laugh.

"Gracas mi amor" Jose said sensually, "see you tonight maybe?"

Maria smiled knowingly, "Friday."

Jose bowed respectively and casually made his way to the bar where Donald was talking up a female flamingo.

"So do you come here often?" Donald asked.

Angel and Devil cringed at what was perhaps the worst pickup line ever; they didn't even have to say anything to each other to know that it was time to go back over to Donald.

Appearing on Donald's shoulder, Devil and Angel were once again in Donald's likeliness. Angel let Devil begin, for he was better with crisis situations. Angel leaned in and spoke.

"Donald. Give a compliment, the first thing that comes to your mind."

Devil gave the flamingo a once over

"Compliment her feathers" Angel said, "Girls like that stuff."

Donald took a drink of the liquor he ordered and turned to the flamingo.

"I like your beak" Donald said slurring a bit, "It's nice and big, as big as an eighteen wheeler!"

Angel slapped himself, "Did you listen to one solitary word I said to you?"

Donald nodded in response, "Yes I'm listening...I'm listening, I'm looking"

Donald leaned in closer to the flamingo, "and I'm smelling!"

The flamingo, disgusted, immediately picked up her check and walked out, causing Donald to fall out of his stool, bringing Angel and Devil with him.

Standing up, Donald looked around the room and found Jose. Angel and Devil were seeing stars.

"We'll work on it" Angel said to no one in particular.

"These guys don't have a clue do they Angel?" Devil asked.

Angel sighed in agreement, "No they do not."

Devil nodded, "Looks like we'll be staying with em huh?"

Angel smiled, "It appears to be that way Devil. It appears to be that way."

Jose got the check and paid for it, "Come on Donald" he said as he shouldered his friend and headed towards the door, "Let's go find a hotel to sleep in eh?"

Donald nodded; his head was heavy and felt like a million pounds. "Okay...Joe" he muttered," whatever you say."

Jose laughed to himself as he walked out of the door, doing a little samba as he made his way down the street and towards the nearest hotel.


	6. Pantomime

Chapter Six

Pantomime

Martinez was walking on the forest floor, which was covered in large roots from the large trees that made the forest itself. Up above were several hanging lights that reminded Martinez of Christmas time, despite the fact that it was the middle of summer. At the base of the trees that served as houses, doors were seen; most of them were dark red to compliment the dark green of the foliage. Above each door was a lamp that hung on a hook, these lamps produced a yellow glow that was calming. To Martinez this light was the exact opposite, it meant that anarchy and chaos would soon become the order of the day and with any luck, he would be at the head.

Martinez came to a large circle of trees, all of them served as houses. The tree directly in front was home.

Martinez's house was standard, as far as community standards went. Directly in front of the door was a welcome mat, to the left was a small kitchen as if Martinez lived in an apartment in the city. To the immediate right of the door was the living room. A medium sized navy blue couch could be seen. Next to this couch was a matching reclining chair. In between them were a small glass coffee table and a small flat screen TV that was hung on the wall. Next to the TV was a floor lamp.

On the back wall of the room was a large staircase that went all the way up. Looking up from the door you find that it was completely open and had multiple levels, Martinez's had five, including the ground floor that he was on now. The only reason that Martinez had stairs at all was because some of his friends, for he did have friends, did not have the luxury of wings.

The second floor wrapped around the circumference of the tree, a railing was around it, making it look like something of a balcony. On this floor a full bar, a pool table, a small arcade were located, taking the shape of the tree and circling around the room.

The third floor was a library; every inch of this space was devoted to shelves and tables. Martinez had everything from local Brazilian literature, but he also had most of Shakespeare, Walt Whitman, Emily Dickenson, Confucius, Mahatmas Gandhi, Buddha and much to his displeasure, Stephanie Meyer, courtesy of his daughter.

Speaking of Martinez's daughter...Martinez has a daughter, Ophelia. She is partly the reason why Martinez's house has stairs, for she hasn't quite gotten the whole flying thing down yet. Martinez also had a son, Jorge. Martinez's children were everything that Martinez wasn't so in short, Jose Carioca.

Martinez didn't mind that his children were good seeds, in fact he preferred it. But what he did mind was that his kids looked up to Jose more than him. Well that isn't exactly fair, since everyone expect Martinez and his close group of friends, looked up to Jose. To be clear, Martinez's friends, who you will meet shortly, had nothing against Jose personally, they just looked up to Martinez more. As far as Martinez was concerned, he could have all the admiration of everyone in the whole forest, but if he didn't have his kids, it would be meaningless.

Martinez wiped his feet on the mat and looked around the ground floor, spotless as always.

"Ninos" Martinez called, "I'm home!"

Silence

Martinez shrugged, thinking that they were somewhere on the higher floors. He skipped the second floor, for he had given both Ophelia and Jorge strict instructions never to go there unless they were accompanied by a trusted adult, which in Martinez's case meant himself or any of his friends, Jose was obviously not in that number.

"Jorge, Ophelia!" Martinez continued as he reached the second floor, "Onde se encontra?"

"We're up here!" Ophelia replied from the top floor, the attic. Martinez let out a sigh of relief and flew up as fast as he was able.

The fifth floor, the attic, was incredibly small, for it was at the very top of the trunk itself. There was only enough room for the three of them, a small group of boxes and a window that let out to a small balcony to the outside world.

Ophelia and Jorge were crunched over a large photo album full of old pictures. Martinez, who towered over them by several feet, looked at the pictures with them. Ophelia and Jorge, who noticed their father's presence, turned around to face him.

"Hello father" Jorge said, "You're home early"

Martinez instinctively looked out the window, the moon was high. It was close to midnight. It made Martinez sad to think that this classified as "early" for everyone else was already at home with their families, those who had them and were already in bed while Martinez was just walking through the door.

"I'm sorry Jorge" Martinez answered, "I'm trying to get home as early as I can believe me. But it's these people! They just won't pay me anymore."

"Did you see Mr. Carioca today?" Ophelia asked curiously, "Did you tell him I said hi?"

Martinez cringed at the mentioning of Jose, but still he put on a smile and a nod for his daughter.

"Yes I did" Martinez exclaimed with a wink, "And he told me to tell you to keep practicing on your singing, keep up the good grades and to stop pestering your little brother!"

Martinez then tickled his daughter and son playfully for a few minutes; this would be the only time that Martinez would laugh truthfully for the entire day.

Ophelia, Jorge and Martinez moved the photo album and themselves to the library for there was more lighting and definitely more comfortable than the attic.

"Dad" Jorge began as they flipped through the pages together, "How come there are no pictures of Mom? Where are her pictures?"

Martinez knew the answer to this question. He also knew the real question that Jorge asked along with its answer but he kept it to himself.

"There are so many pictures of her" Martinez said, "I keep them in a separate binder all together."

This was partially true, for Martinez did have a binder in which every single picture that was ever taken of his wife was in, this binder no longer exists.

"Can we see them?" Ophelia asked eagerly, "I want to see them."

Martinez shook his head, "Not tonight dear" he replied, "Maybe some other time."

They continued to sift through the photo album for another hour.

"You were handsome Daddy" Ophelia said lovingly, "Very handsome"

Martinez raised an eyebrow, "'you _were_ handsome Daddy?'" Martinez joked, "Well what does that mean? I would like to know!"

Ophelia laughed, it was sweet and relatively innocent. "Yeah" she continued, "You were. Now you're just old."

Martinez, for the record, was not old; he was still very much a young bird, only in his third mating year biology, second year actively. It wasn't so much what Ophelia said as to how she said it that made Martinez feel progressively older as if Father Time had caught up to him in a matter of mere milliseconds.

At that moment a knock came at the door. Martinez lifted his head towards it and guessed who it was. Jorge and Ophelia sighed heavily, for they knew that it was time for bed. Jorge closed the book and took it with him as they made their way up to the fourth floor where the bedrooms were located. The knocking came again, Martinez looked towards the door and then back to his children. He went upstairs, whoever was there could wait.

This was the final time that Martinez would spend with his kids until the next day. The fourth floor was set up in the following way. In many ways resembling slices of pie, each bedroom was sectioned off. Ophelia's room was closer to the stairs, Martinez did this because Ophelia preferred the safety. As a consequence, Martinez nailed Ophelia's bed to the opposite side of the room and on the very edge of the balcony, if Ophelia rolled the wrong way, she would fall a considerable amount before landing safely on the couch below, which was placed so in the event.

Jorge's room was opposite Opehlia's. Jorge had already mastering flying, his trouble was with singing, something that all birds in Brazil were required by law (by tradition, not written law) to do. As such, Martinez placed Jorge's bed in front of the window, so that way Jorge could hear the various voices of the neighborhood and attempt to pick up one of his own.

Martinez's room was between them. His bed was directly in the middle, the headboard on the back wall, to allow him to see into both rooms at the same time. The bathroom was directly across the way.

Martinez said goodnight to Ophelia first, Jorge having gotten first the night before.

"Boa noite anjo" Martinez said softly, "Sonho de sorvete e chocolate, okay?" (Good night angel...Dream of ice cream and chocolate, okay?")

Ophelia smiled and wrapped her wings around her father, "I love you Daddy."

Martinez nodded, he didn't say anything, just let himself enjoy the moment.

Martinez then flew over to Jorge's room. Jorge was sitting on his bed looking out the window. The knocking at the door only got louder as the minutes wore on.

"You should get the door" Jorge said indifferently

"Whoever it is can wait" Martinez replied

"It might be someone from your job" Jorge continued, "You should answer it."

Martinez rolled his eyes and sat at the other end of Jorge's bed.

"Listen to me Jorge" Martinez began, "What I'm going to say is the whole truth, the honest truth and nothing but, okay?"

Jorge nodded, his gaze still fixed on the window, not even bothering to look at his father. Martinez accepted this.

"My job is not my life" Martinez declared, "You are my life. Ophelia and you, that's it. Nothing else matters, everything else is a means to an end..."

A silence fell between them; the only sound that was constant was the knocking of the door, which was becoming more and more frantic.

"I know that I haven't been the best dad" Martinez began again, "Coming home late, leaving early in the morning. I barely get to see you guys. And I'm sorry for that. I wish that things could be different. I wish that your Mom was here, to tell you...to tell me, that everything's going to be okay. But she's not here."

Jorge laid down on his pillow, ending the conversation on his end, Martinez was far from done, for there was many things that he wanted to say. He decided to wait until tomorrow to finish his apology. Martinez leaned over, kissed his son's forehead and closed the window before flying down and answering the door.


	7. Jesus

Chapter Seven

Jesus

The next morning was Jose's family reunion. Walking down the street towards the forest, Jose and Donald heard the one sound that they swore that they never wanted to hear again, the sound of Panchito screaming as he ran down the street being chased by a bull.

Panchito was on the parallel street running downhill towards the ocean. The bull was on Panchito heels, ready to kill.

"Jose!" Panchito screamed, "HELP ME!"

Jose rolled his eyes and flew down the street with Donald, who recently learned how to fly properly like any other bird, followed close behind.

"Panchito-" Jose said when he caught up with him

"Oh hello Carioca" Panchito answered as he turned around and looked up, now running the same speed just backwards.

"I need you to stop" Jose instructed

Panchito's eyes widened at this

"You must really hate me!" the rooster cried in disbelief, "Stop running! Are you insane? Do you want me to get impaled?"

Jose huffed, although in a way he wanted that to happen, he didn't want it to happen today. Realizing that Jose was getting nowhere with Panchito, Jose turned towards the bull.

"Parar Jesus!"

The bull, Jesus, gave Jose a look, "Opa!" he exclaimed happily, "Eu não tenho visto voce em idades."

Jose nodded, "Yes it has been a long time Jesus, a real long time."

Jesus continued running toward Panchito, who continued screaming.

"O que eu posso fazer para voce?" the bull asked

Jose looked at Panchito and then at Jesus, "I need you to stop running Jesus. You're scaring this poor rooster."

Jesus stopped immediately, running his horns into Panchito anyway, causing Panchito to jump three feet in the air. Jesus and Jose watched as Panchito, upon reaching the ground once again, began dragging his ass across the ground as if he were a dog.

"Eh" Jesus said to Jose, "Ele e ok?"

Jose shrugged, "Who knows Jesus, who knows?"

Donald pulled out his phone and started recording, he wanted to capture this moment.

When Panchito stood up, he brushed himself off. Almost as soon as Panchito stood up, Jesus approached him and extended his hoof.

"Descuple" Jesus apologized, "Eu estava a tentar proteger Senor Jose, Não ha sentimentos dificeis?"

Panchito had a confused look, for he didn't speak Portuguese, despite the fact that Spanish and Portuguese are very similar languages. Nowadays Panchito tried to stick to English for simplicity's sake.

"I'm sorry?" Panchito asked for clarification

Jesus raised an eyebrow, even more confused than Panchito.

"Si" Jesus answered, "Mas por que voce esta pedindo descuplas?"

Panchito still didn't understand and so repeated what he said before, causing Jesus to get irritated. Before it could escalate further, Jose stepped in between them.

"Panchito" Jose said calmly, "Jesus said that he was sorry for chasing you. He was trying to protect me, okay?"

Panchito gave Jose a deadpan stare; it mirrored that of Daffy Duck's.

"Are you kidding me?" Panchito exclaimed, "You have a bodyguard?"

Jose shook his head, "Jesus isn't my bodyguard Panchito. He's my pet."

At this Jesus wrapped Jose into a bear hug, "Pai!" Jesus declared lovingly

Donald smiled and tried to wrestle Jesus off of Jose, but Jose stopped him

"It's okay Donald" Jose replied

Donald turned to Jesus and patted the bull's shoulder. "Bom rapaz Jesus, bom rapaz."

Panchito turned to Donald.

"You speak Portuguese?"

Donald shrugged, "A bit" he answered, "Jose taught me. What's the problem?"

"That's almost offensive" the rooster continued, "I'm the Mexican who can speak Spanish and I can't understand a Portuguese bull? How does that make any sense?"

Jesus laughed and gently dug his hooves into the dirt.

"Ah" Jesus said as if he had a moment of clarity, "You're American then."

Panchito was exasperated, "What no I'm not, I'm Mexican!"

Donald shook his head, "Panchito you were created in 1945 by Walt Disney, an American. You're American...Granted an American stereotype but an American none the less."

Jesus motioned for Panchito and the others to follow him, they did so.

They made their way down to the port, close to the restaurant that Jose took Donald all those years ago. The crowd, both natives and tourists alike brushed their hands up against Jesus, who responded with quick nudges and caresses of arms and chests.

"How do you know all of these people?" Donald asked curiously

"They just like bulls Senor Donald" Jesus explained, "It has nothing to do with me."

Panchito begged to differ, but he didn't say anything.

"How does a bull come to be in Brazil anyway?" Donald continued, his curiosity at its height.

Jesus turned to Jose, "Pai? You tell him."

They came to the restaurant and sat down at one of the outside tables, there was even a chair big enough and sturdy enough for Jesus, for he was a regular at the restaurant and always had his chair reserved.

"Well you see" Jose began, "It started a few years ago..."

I was walking along the docks with Maria; we were minding our own business when we passed this huge cargo ship, _The Return of the Inquisition._ We watched as the sailors unloaded their cargo, they were carrying this big, heavy crate; it must have weighed a few hundred pounds or so. One of the sailors called me over to see if I could help.

So of course, me, being the helpful guy that I am, walked over.

"What's in this thing?" I asked to the sailor who had called me over, "It weighs a ton!"

The sailor nodded, "It's a toro- a bull."

I asked them what a bull would be doing in Brazil. When he gave me the answer I was appalled. They were going to cut him up and send him all over the world. I peered inside one of the holes in the side of the crate and saw too beady little eyes and a big tongue. As soon as I saw him and he me, I could hear a quite little thumping sound from inside the crate, it was the bull's tail, wagging like a dog. Well anyway, he slowly walked over to me and licked my face; his tongue was leathery and felt like sandpaper.

The rest as they say was history. I punched the sailors in the stomach, causing them to drop the crate, I then picked up a crowbar, opened the crate, picked up the bull and ran like hell. Two years later I named him Jesus and that was that.

Jesus rolled his eyes, for Jose's version was over dramatized, but he decided to let it go, for Jose would be Jose.

"So Jesus is your pet?" Panchito said as he took a drink of wine, for they had ordered during Jose's story.

Jesus laughed, partially embarrassed, "Pet is a strong word" he answered, "More like heterosexual life partners."

Donald nodded in understanding for he had several friends who fit that category, Ren and Stimpy being one such pair, himself and Goofy, at least in some cases, were considered another, as well as himself and Mickey. Hell, the Three Caballeros even were considered heterosexual life partners. Panchito didn't get it.

Jose, Donald and Jesus groaned, for Panchito just wasn't with it today, as if when he woke up this morning he hit a really big stupid button and he just kept hitting it with each passing hour, getting progressively stupider as the day wore on. It was now 2:30 in the afternoon.

After a few drinks Jose, Donald and Panchito were falling over themselves. Jesus didn't drink, choosing water and a salad. Jesus was a pescatarian believing that eating any beef was cannibalism; he also had a lot of friends who were pigs and chickens and so couldn't bring himself to eat anything that came from either. Jesus however loved dairy and fish, claiming that milk is the lifeblood of his species and cheese the sacred food that is always to be eaten with reverence and never gorged upon.

Jesus placed all three birds, Donald and Panchito having low tolerances for alcohol and Jose drinking until anyone would have that behavior, on his back and walked down the street back towards the docks. When the bull got to the docks, he shrugged nonchalantly and bucked, sending Jose, Donald and Panchito into the water.

"What the hell?" Donald said to Jesus as he came up, "What was that for?"

Jesus huffed, "You were drunk. I had to do something, I will not be known as the guy who hangs around with three drunkies, I have a reputation to keep here."

"We could have died!" Donald screamed as Jose came up, pulling with him an unconscious Panchito.

Jesus walked away, leaving Donald and Jose to get themselves out of the water. Jose slapped Panchito, waking the rooster instantly, who sat up and looked after the bull, who could still be seen walking down the street.

"What a dick" Panchito said

"He takes some getting used to" Jose admitted, "But he's family to me."

Donald shrugged and seeing that he had nothing better to do, followed Jesus, Jose and Panchito, seeing that they had nothing else to do, followed Donald.


	8. Ominous Trombone Music in the Background

Chapter Eight

Ominous Trombone Music in the Background

Martinez woke up in a burlap sack. The knocker at his door the night before was an unwelcome visitor. You can probably guess who it was.

Fernando stood over the sack and threateningly waved his keys in front of it, he knew that Martinez could see him, or at least part of him.

"I know you're awake" Fernando said, "How's the eye?"

Martinez touched his right eye with his wing; it was then that he noticed that he couldn't see out of it, he just figured that it was the darkness of the sack. The vulture gasped in horror as he realized that wasn't the sack, but the eye itself.

"What did you do to me?" Martinez screamed, "What did you do to me!"

Fernando laughed, "If I were you that wouldn't be the question I would be asking right now" Fernando followed this was a laugh that was devious, menacing and sounded, at least to Martinez as if he had been practicing for the lead bad guy role in the school play.

"Ophelia...Jorge?" Martinez called, "Onde se encontra?"

Fernando laughed at Martinez's attempts, "They can't hear you" he replied, "They're too busy being dead to answer."

Martinez in response to this attempted to break free of the bag by jumping up and flying, but to his dismay his feet were tied.

"When I get out of here I'm going to kill you!" Martinez cried, "In fact, call Animal Control we'll see who dies first eh?"

Fernando shook his head, "I was kidding" he continued, "Your kids are very much alive. They're just...not here."

Martinez scoffed, "Your sense of humor isn't funny. It's just insulting and cruel!"

Martinez then began to the best of his ability, to untie himself.

While this was going on, three birds, a Northern Caracara, a King Vulture and Apolmado Falcon, all birds of prey, were sitting on a nearby tree branch talking about their various exploits.

Horatio, a Northern Caracara, told the King Vulture about how he recently got into a business partnership with Louis, the local fishermen whose main concern was feeding the poor children of Rio de Janeiro. Louis was close friends with Jose; in fact, it was Jose who help get Louis the necessary funding to get Louis his boat.

John-Valjean, the Apolmado Falcon, so named because he was also fluctuant in French in addition to Portuguese and English, having spent several years there, was boasting about how his girlfriend was a stripper, who incidentally happened to be Maria's best friend.

The King Vulture was Norman. Norman is extremely shy, barely able to talk to women and had no social skills to speak of. John-Valjean considered him a brother and to Martinez Norman was a second son.

"Isn't it weird that your girlfriend works with Maria?" Horatio said to John-Valjean

"No" John-Valjean answered, "It doesn't bother me. Besides I have nothing against Maria or Jose, they're good people."

It was then that they heard Martinez screaming about what Fernando had done to his eye. All of them looked in the general direction.

"Is that...Martinez?" Horatio asked, hoping that he was hearing things

"Is he screaming?" Norman said worriedly

Fernando came into their view

"Who's the tourist?" John-Valjean exclaimed, "And why is he in that guy's house?"

"Must be one of those museums" Horatio commented, "You know the place that humans dump money into so they can see things that they can just make at home."

Norman got them back on track.

"Guys this isn't helping. We've got to go help Martinez."

Horatio and John-Valjean nodded in agreement, the birds flew over as fast as they could.

Fernando was beating Martinez, who was still inside the bag, with a baseball bat.

"You like that don't you?" Fernando screamed, "Yeah I bet you do!"

Fernando wasn't even done yet. He opened the sack; just enough for Martinez's head to fit through, pulled the vulture's head through the hole and then closed it again. Martinez looked like he had dressed up as a potato for Halloween, a battered and beaten potato with a bruise, but a potato all the same.

"What kind of naturalist are you huh?" Martinez said as he spat out blood, "Naturalists are supposed to care about us! They're supposed to help us, not hurt us!"

Fernando laughed, "Don't you know anything bird brain? This isn't about science...it's about revenge."

Martinez had no idea what Fernando was talking about, then the pieces started to click together.

"Jose..." Martinez said to himself, "At Maria's...Jose said he was going to give me a Fernando Miguel. You're him aren't you?"

Fernando mockingly bowed

"And I bet you Jose did something to you didn't he?" Martinez continued, "And you're looking for revenge?"

Fernando nodded, "Yes I am. My research needs to be completed."

Martinez nodded; from the corner of his eye he could Horatio, Norman and John-Valjean. He turned back to Fernando and began biding time.

"I'm no friend of Jose Carioca...He owes me money... Now how about we make a deal?"

Fernando raised his eyebrows curiously, "What kind of deal?" he asked cautiously

"Very simple" Martinez explained, "You give me my kids. I give you Jose. Easy trade, what do you say?"

Fernando thought about it for a long time. The offer was one that even he couldn't refuse.

"Sure" Fernando replied, "Why not?"

Fernando let Martinez out of the burlap sack. This was the worst mistake of his entire life.

As soon as Martinez was free, he tackled Fernando to the ground. Martinez then whistled, a millisecond didn't get a chance to pass when Horatio, John-Valjean and Norman appeared next to Martinez.

"Boys" Martinez said, "This is Fernando Miguel. Make him feel comfortable."

Horatio and Norman took the rope from the burlap sack and from Martinez's feet and used it to tie Fernando's limbs down. When this was done Martinez moved backwards for the sole purpose of walking towards Fernando trying to be as intimidating as possible. Martinez had a serve limp and his eye was burning as if it he had been dipped into liquid metal. Horatio, Norman and John-Valjean stared at Martinez with a worried look on their faces.

"Maybe now's not a good time boss" Horatio said, "We need to get you to hospital."

Martinez shook his head and waved Horatio off weakly, "Not until I get what I want from this asshole. He has my kids Horatio. Ophelia and Jorge...my babies..."

John-Valjean disagreed, "Don" he began with a quick bow, "As much as I respect your decision I cannot help but disagree. Norman and I can take care of this deadbeat. Let Horatio take you to a hospital."

Martinez still refused. Norman stepped in this time.

"Do you want to find your kids?"

This brought a silence throughout the room, Norman continued.

"The best thing for you to do right now is to heal. God willing, Ophelia and Jorge are safe."

Martinez was about to protest when Fernando laughed again, this was followed by Horatio hitting him in the gut with his beak.

"You'll never find them" Fernando said, "They're miles away from here..."

Martinez groaned, he had had enough of this despicable man. It took everything that he had not to kill Fernando right then and there.

"Tell me where they are" Martinez threatened, "And I might let you live...I swear to God and Saint Christopher if you're lying to me I will not hesitate to rip out your organs and make you watch me eat them!"

Fernando only laughed. Before he could so much as say any more Martinez snapped his wingtips. In three seconds Norman and John-Valjean gagged Fernando and waited for the signal.

Martinez turned around, Horatio followed suit.

"Make him squawk" Martinez ordered, "And then give him an offer he can't refuse."

Fernando then became fearful, for he knew what those words meant.

"What the hell!" Fernando screamed, "I thought you were just a landlord?"

It was now Martinez's turn to laugh, "Guess again deadbeat. You're looking at the Don of the Brazilian Mafia."

Fernando whimpered as John-Valjean and Norman began pummeling him to the ground. As Martinez and Horatio walked away ominous trombone music played in the background. Horatio turned to Martinez, as if he were forgetting something.

"What about the cannoli?"

Martinez laughed, "We're Brazilians...we don't have cannolis. We have half moon pasteis."

Horatio nodded, "Well what about the half moon pasteis then?"

Martinez shook his head, "It's with the gun."

Horatio raised his eyebrows in confusion, "What gun?"

Martinez rolled his eye and pulled out a gun and a half moon pastei. He then threw the gun in the corner of the room, accidentally causing it to go off and make a significant hole in the roof. Martinez took a bite of the pastei.

"Brazilian cheese filling" Martinez said to Horatio, "Wanna bite?"

Horatio smiled, "You just lost an eye and yet you're walking around, having John and Norman beat the shit out some guy and you're offering me a pastei as if it's no big deal."

Martinez laughed, "I know!" he cried in disbelief, "I'm crazy Horatio...and thanks for saving my ass today. I owe you."

Horatio gently slapped Martinez's back as they exited the house, "Hey it's my job remember? Keeping you safe, that and I like having you around, brings a nice balance to things."

Martinez nodded; they were now on the street. Martinez attempted to fly but it was all for naught, he was still too weak to do anything, so they continued walking. Martinez eventually had to use Horatio as support.

Martinez turned to Horatio, "Let me ask you something Horatio?" he began, "If I wasn't paying you right now would you still be doing this?"

Horatio laughed, "Of course!" he answered immediately, "Besides it's not every day that you get to protect a mob boss is it?"

Martinez smiled, it was warm and open, "You're a good bodyguard Horatio, a good friend. I'm lucky to have a guy like you."

Horatio raised an eyebrow, hoping that he had heard him correctly.

"Sir, is there something that you want to say?"

Martinez heard Horatio's tone and shook his tone.

"Not in that way Horatio" he explained, "I meant in a brotherly way...you know the type of heterosexual relationship that you can have with another guy who isn't related to you but close enough to be considered family and not gay in any way whatsoever."

Horatio breathed a sigh of relief, not that he would've had a problem if his suspicions were correct, it would just be extremely uncomfortable for him being that he was a married bird.

"Speaking of which" Martinez said, reading the short paragraph above, "How's your wife doing Horatio?"

Horatio was put off by Martinez beginning statement, "Speaking of which" following the statement before it, made Horatio think that Martinez was still on the subject.

"My wife sir..." Horatio asked, "You do know that I'm married right?"

Martinez nodded, "Yeah...so how is she?"

Horatio shrugged, his life wasn't much to boast about. He had the perfect girl, worked as a fisherman and had the double life as a bodyguard to a mob boss. It technically wasn't even a double life since his wife knew about and frequently participated in the mafia, the fisherman job acting more as a cover up than anything else.

"Okay" Horatio answered, "She's everything though. All I'll ever need in the end."

Martinez nodded, he wished that he could regain what Horatio had, but it would be impossible, especially now with his eye, for who would ever want to date a half blind bird?

They finally made it to the hospital, Horatio hailed a nurse who brought over a wheelchair. Martinez was wheeled into the hospital with Horatio following every step of the way, ignoring the doctor's pleas to wait in the waiting room. Horatio only stopped when Martinez entered the room, respectfully waiting outside until it was over.


	9. Breaking Out into Random Song

Chapter Nine

Breaking Out Into "Random" Song

Jose, Jesus, Donald and Panchito made it to the park. The park was large, it was one of those places that had gazebos ever few hundred feet or so. Situated between the bay and the forest, it was the best of worlds, the beach and the jungle, making it ideal for a family reunion of birds.

The biggest gazebo, Bela Vista or "Beautiful View" in Portuguese, was right on the bay. A rolling downward hill lead to it, reminding Donald of the musical Sound of Music, he instantly felt like singing which was weird considering that Donald was never one for music when Jose and Panchito were around. Music with them usually meant trouble for him, so he kept his beak shut and the music inside, festering, boiling and slowly driving him insane.

Underneath Bela Vista were four large picnic tables. At the head of the picnic tables sat the various heads of the various families within Jose's family. The biggest table belonged to Jose's cousin, who was really more of a brother to Jose and if you ask any of the Three Caballeros about it, he would be the official Fourth.

Jose's cousin was a smaller parrot than Jose, his legs were stubby, his beak was short and big covering his eyes a little bit and his wings were a little bit longer than everything else. This was Iago the Parrot.

Iago was wearing the stereotypical Saudi Arabian turban with a green trim instead of a blue trim. Around his neck was an extravagant necklace; on his wing tip was a customized ring, both in style and in the fact that he was a bird and anatomically couldn't wear rings to begin with. This jewelry was the symbol of the Grand Vizier.

"Iago!" Jose said warmly as he approached, "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Saudi Arabia?"

Iago immediately upon hearing the words Saudi Arabia, stood up and brought his wing to Jose's mouth

"Don't say it!" Iago screamed, "I can't...I can't even so much as hear it or-or..."

Iago was shaking and sweating, to the point that his feathers were molting prematurely

"Great" Iago exclaimed, "Just great. I'm so nervous that I'm molting! See what you did to me Jose? See what you did!"

Jose folded his arms, extremely offended, "Oh sure, sure go on your rant" Jose replied, "No 'Hello Jose how are you? Haven't seen you in a long time?' Just going on and tell me about-"

Iago cut him off before Jose could finish.

"I'm sorry Jose" Iago said with a sigh, "It's just that...I've been ostracized, accidentally destroyed the palace."

Panchito laughed, "You destroyed Agrabah Palace?"

Iago nodded, "I don't see why it's funny. It's terrible! Torn away from everything, all my friends, Mom and Dad, Othello..."

Donald raised his eyebrows in confusion, "Othello?"

Iago nodded again, "My brother" he explained, "Dad was a fan of Shakespeare. Had a sister named Hamlet, ran off with a hippo of all things- haven't seen her since...I hope she's happy with him."

Panchito laughed again, "Your sister, a parrot, fell in love with a hippo?"

Iago shot a glaring look Panchito's way, if there was one thing that he hated more than anything it was being made fun of, this went a step further when his family was concerned.

"I'm sorry but who the hell do you think you are?" Iago asked curiously

"Panchito" Panchito answered casually

"Yeah?" Iago continued matching Panchito's tone, "Well guess what asshole I'm the Grand Vizier. Do you know what that means?"

Panchito shook his head; he was not familiar with Saudi Arabian culture. Donald stepped in.

"It means that he can kick your ass Panchito" Donald replied, "Please, show some respect."

Panchito rolled his eyes, at that moment Jose's watch beeped; Jose looked down at his wrist and was surprised to discover that he was even wearing a watch.

"Is it that time already?" Jose said to himself, "But it can't be. It's too early!"

Jesus looked up at the sun and then back at Jose, "It's time Jose" the bull replied, "Shall I get the equipment?"

Jose nodded. Jesus walked over to a conveniently placed box that somehow magically appeared for the sake of convenience. Jesus opened the box and began setting up the equipment- a drum set, an acoustic guitar, an electric bass, and three headsets. Once this was done Jose, Donald and Panchito took the cue and walked over to where Jesus had set up.

Donald took the drums, Panchito took the acoustic guitar and Jose had the bass. All of them took a headset and began tuning their instruments.

"What are we doing?" Panchito asked, turning to the other two

"Let's let Donald pick" Jose answered, "He hasn't picked for us in a long time."

Donald smiled and gave his answer by starting the drum beat to the song that he wanted to play. Panchito took the hint and called Iago, who was frequently their fourth man when the need arose and Jesus, who after setting the camera equipment up to connect to various TV stations in Brazil, Mexico and America, walked over to assist.

Panchito handed Jesus a harmonica and to Iago he was given an electric guitar. When this was done, Panchito and Jose started the short riff, with Donald breaking in occasionally. Iago recognized the song and started playing; cue Jesus to casually blow through the harmonica. Jose then began singing.

_Train roll on_

_ On down the line won't you,_

_ Please take me far, far away?_

_ Now I feel the wind blow_

_ Outside my door and I'm leaving my woman at home._

Panchito took up the background vocals and added "My baby's gone" at the end of this. Jose, now joined in with Donald, continued.

_Tuesday's gone with the wind_

_ My baby's gone with the wind_

Jose and Iago causally began strumming. Jose gave a nod to Donald, telling him to take up the next verse. He did so.

_I don't know...where I'm going_

_ I just want to be left alone._

The others backed him up by putting emphasis on the word "alone."Donald continued.

_ When this train ends_

_ I'll try again_

_ I'm leaving my woman at home._

_ My baby's gone_

All of them repeated the "Tuesday's gone with the wind" line four times; Donald and Panchito ended the verse.

_My baby's gone with the wind._

_ Train roll on_

As soon as this happened Jesus began his harmonica solo, which lasted for about two minutes. They all continued with the "Tuesday's gone with the wind" line, they repeated this five times. Iago displaying a particular force of emotion, this song having a special significance to him, with respect to his situation, Jose and the others allowed him to continue.

_Train roll on_

_ Many miles from my home, see I'm_

_ I'm riding my blues baby, blues away._

_ Tuesday you see, she had to be free._

_ But somehow I've got to, to carry on._

They then repeated the "Tuesday's gone with the wind" line nine more times. Panchito continued with the song

_Train roll on_

_ Train roll on_

_ Ride on train_

Donald and Iago joined in

_Ride on train_

_ Ride on train_

Jose and Jesus came in

_Train roll on_

_ Train roll on_

Jose, accompanied by Donald, finished the song

_Lord...I can change_

_ Lord...I can change_

The line "Lord I can change" repeated seven times followed by "Ride on train" for three more times. The song then slowed down for the outro.

_ Train roll on_

_ Train roll on_

_ Lord I can change, ride on train_

**(Metallica's Garage Inc Session- Tuesday's Gone) **

When it was over Jose's relatives went back to their business, they did not clap, they didn't so much as give a "Good job" or a "That was really great" just turned around and went back to their food and whatever it was that they were talking about before the music started.

Donald and Jesus began putting the instruments away; Panchito counted off how many people were still paying attention by the end of the performance. He could only make out one guy, Jose's uncle Pedro, a small canary with a heart of gold.

"One!" Panchito cried triumphantly, "We have one, a new record!"

Panchito pulled out his guns and fired them off randomly; he only got two shots off before Jose tackled him to the ground.

"Panchito" Jose screamed, "What did I tell you about my family? They're very skittish around loud noises. Do you want to level all of Rio? Because it happened one year and it was not pretty. Three city blocks were completely destroyed before the police came to calm everyone down."

Panchito laughed and put away his guns. "I'd say that more than skittish Jose"

Panchito saw that Iago was cowering in fear and shaking as if he were in the middle of the Arctic.

"It's okay Senor" Panchito said reassuringly, "No guns see?"

Iago peered up from his wings, which were over his eyes and saw that Panchito was weaponless. Iago nodded, relaxed, straightened himself out and whistled as loud as he possibly could. Everyone instantly became somber.

"Now how does that make any sense?" Panchito asked, "That whistle makes my ears bleed and that you're skittish with guns?"

Iago rolled his eyes, "It's a bad family history" he explained, "All of us at one point in our lives were around guns, drugs or violence. Everyone except Jose, we sheltered him and taught him not to be afraid. When he met you...I guess he got over it."

Iago looked around the gazebo and the surrounding area

"The others though are still getting used to the idea, myself included. So please. No guns"

Panchito raised his right wing and gave an oath never to use his guns unless was an absolute emergency. Iago would hold him to it.

At that moment Angel and Devil appeared, just to see how things were going.

"So it looks like Panchito is back" Angel exclaimed, "Should we do something about it? I mean he is breaking the law."

Devil laughed deviously, "I got it! Let's get him arrested; it'll be fun, a real riot!"

Angel shook his head, "Too easy. Let's have some real fun..."

Devil smiled knowingly, "I knew there was always a devil in you. Now what should we do?"

While Angel and Devil were coming up with ways to get rid of Panchito for Jose, Horatio entered the park.

Horatio, who heard the music from down the street, was on a mission from Martinez. His mission was to find Jose and force him to help. Maria was already at the hospital, she would be used as leverage if Jose didn't comply.

Horatio flew over to Jose and his friends who were busy talking about the next gig. Horatio glanced up for a moment and saw Angel and Devil, he smiled at them knowingly and said nothing.

Angel turned to Devil.

"Did you see what I just saw?" Angel asked

"Yeah" Devil replied, "But that's not possible...is it?"

Angel and Devil appeared on Horatio's shoulders, taking on his likeness to better examine his behavior.

Jose, Donald, Panchito, Iago and Jesus looked towards Horatio with a particular curiosity. Horatio started first, to Jose.

"You are Jose Carioca right?"

Jose nodded

"And you are familiar with Martinez?"

Jose rolled his eyes, "What does that asshole want now, more money? Well I don't have it. If he wants my house he can have it for all I care!"

Horatio laughed, "Your charity is noted" he began again, "But this is bigger than all of that. Much bigger."

"What do you mean?" Jose asked, "Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

Horatio shook his head, "Something is wrong Carioca, but it was nothing that you or any of your friends did. This has something to do with Fernando Miguel."

Donald and Panchito tensed up at the name, remembering their recent experience.

"Okay" Jose said cautiously, "How?"

Horatio didn't have time for details and so cut right to the point.

"Martinez's ninos have been kidnapped by Senor Miguel. He's holding them somewhere but we don't know where."

Jose raised his eyebrows in confusion, "We? Whose we? And further more who are you?"

Horatio shook his head out of stupidity for he had forgotten basic communication skills for a moment and completely skipped the introduction process. In his defense, given the situation there was not a lot of time for pleasantries.

"My name is Horatio; the 'we' is the Brazilian Mafia. Martinez is, shall we say, well connected with them and has asked us to help in the search."

Jose laughed in disbelief, "There's no way that you're part of the Mafia!" he exclaimed, "You're too nice!"

Horatio in response, scratched Jose' cheek with one talon, with the other he side swiped the parrot, bringing him to the ground. Horatio then picked Jose up and took to the air. Panchito and Donald didn't even have enough time to react.

"Tell me again that I'm not in the Mafia" Horatio dared, "Let's see how you like getting your guts spread over the ground."

Jose laughed, "Big deal Senor. I'll just fly away as soon as you let go."

Horatio smiled and gently began crushing Jose's wings, he would stop before they broke, but it was enough for Jose to become fearful.

"Okay, Senor okay!" the parrot said nervously, "You're in the Mafia. Only a bird as cruel as you would ever resort to such violence!"

Horatio nodded and flew back down to earth.

While Jose was brushing himself off and tending to his wings, Horatio turned to his shoulders.

"Well well" Horatio began, "If it isn't mi amigos, Senor Goody Good and Senor Bad Seed. How we doing eh?"

Angel and Devil took offense to this, for they did not like the term "Goody Good" or "Bad Seed" they preferred just being called what they were. At the same time they were surprised that Horatio could see them at all.

Angel turned to Devil for advice.

Devil laughed, finding it funny that Angel always turned to him for advice. Devil causally leaned against Horatio's neck and pulled out a cigar.

"You can take this one Angel" Devil said as he inhaled, "Meanwhile I'm going to good old Horatio some suggestions for pleasing his wife."

Angel huffed, "Now isn't exactly a good time for him to be thinking about sex. Now is the time for "good old Horatio" as you so call him to be helping Martinez get his kids back. Do you have any ideas about that?"

Devil shrugged, "Sure I do. The question is, can you handle it? My methods aren't exactly tame you know."

Angel rolled his eyes, "Devil. Fernando kidnapped children. Tameness is out the window. Here's what we do. We find the kids and then we kill Miguel."

Devil shook his head, "We? How are we supposed to do anything? We can't affect the physical world!"

Angel huffed, "Maybe you can't. But I sure can."

Devil had a guess as to where this was going. "Let me guess. Calling up the Big Man?"

Angel nodded, "Yup. I'm goanna ask for visibility."

Devil huffed, "What's the point?" he asked, "I mean this guy can see us right?"

Horatio turned to Angel and blew as hard as he could, causing Angel to fall off of Horatio's shoulder. Devil raised his hand for a high five, which Horatio accepted.

Angel reappeared on Horatio's shoulder.

"Not funny" he said, he then turned to Horatio, "And you? Let me ask you a question tough guy. How can you see us?"

Horatio had two answers to this question. The long answer and the short answer. The short answer is that Horatio, before he became a fisherman and before even the Mafia was caretaker to Christ the Redeemer. As a result of being caretaker to Christ the Redeemer, Horatio began "in tune" with himself. He allowed his outer actions to reflect his inner being.

Just because Horatio was part of the Mafia does not mean that he is a cruel or uncaring individual, for his heart was always in the right place and his mind resorted to violence to achieve benevolent goals only when all other options had been spent, especially when the situation was as dire as this. Horatio explained this to Angel and Devil, who only became even more confused.

Angel was just about to say something when Jose caught Horatio's attention.

"Alright Horatio" Jose said, "What's the situation?"

Horatio told Jose and company everything that happened at Fernando's house. Without so much as a second thought, Jose, Donald, Panchito, Jesus and Iago agreed to help Martinez in any way possible.

Horatio nodded, his demeanor changed drastically, as if was taking everything in.

"Come with me" Horatio demanded, "Quickly. Grab only what you need."

"Where are we going?" Panchito asked

"To the hospital" Horatio answered, "Now if you're done talking perhaps you can move your ass?"

Panchito complied without further incident.


	10. Bullet Time

Chapter Ten

Bullet Time

Martinez was actually worse off than he appeared to be. His eye had become infected, forcing the doctors to do advanced surgery and completely get rid of the eye in order to save Martinez's life. Martinez took the fact that he now really only had one eye rather well, for now he had a good reason to wear an eye-patch and he had always wanted to be a pirate.

"Hey Maria" Martinez said looking to his right, "What do you think if I became a pirate? Pirate Martinez..."

Maria, who was sitting next to the bed, smiled and said nothing. On a personal level Maria had absolutely nothing bad to say about Martinez. She understood that she was just doing his job as a landlord, true she believed that at times he was a bit unreasonable, but Martinez had to live somehow. Maria unfortunately knew about his involvement with the Mafia, it pained her to think about it, about what it would to Martinez's children.

"A mafia" Maria said suddenly without answering his question, "no matter how much good they do, is still a mafia. They still resort to violence."

Martinez sighed, "Mafias aren't known for their good deeds amor" he replied, "We are cruel because we have to be. To protect those that we love, those that we want to keep safe...I can't even do that. Not like this. What kind of father I am if I can't even protect my own kids?"

Maria felt immense pity for the vulture but said nothing, no words of encouragement, nothing. Just let him cry and let him feel sorry for himself. Maria knew that the best thing for Martinez to do was to rest. Martinez's heart wanted to go after Ophelia and Jorge himself, his parental instincts overriding his reasoning skills, Maria however kept him in line.

"Martinez" Maria said softly, "You're hurt. Please rest."

Martinez nodded and laid his head against the pillow, he could swear that he felt Maria rub his cheek, but he must been dreaming, for nothing so good could ever happen to him now, not until his kids were safe would anything good happen to him, for nothing meant more to Martinez.

Jose, Donald, Panchito, Iago and Horatio walked in the room. Martinez sat up and looked them over.

"I know how this must look" Martinez began, "But believe me my intentions are benign."

"I know" Jose answered, "Horatio filled us in on the way."

Martinez nodded and smiled at the same time, "Then you are no doubt aware of my involvement in the Mafia."

Jose nodded but said nothing.

Martinez repositioned himself on his pillow, "I have every bird under my control looking for them. But we've came up with nothing. I figure, a smaller force would be less noticeable. Get behind the enemy, flush him out of every hole, every knick and every tree you see."

Panchito and Donald's eyes widened as Martinez added on more details

"You would carry with you all of my authority" the vulture continued, "Be clothed in my full power..."

Martinez then turned to Jose

"And when my kids are found Carioca, you will have your house, your belongings. Your friends will be left alone, protected by the Mafia and you will be given the finest that Brazil and all of South America has to offer. That is my gift to you, and your friends should you succeed."

Martinez didn't want to think about what would happen if they failed, still he said it anyway.

"If you fail" Martinez said sadly, "Know that you have my friendship regardless, but I'm afraid that due to the complicated circumstances, me being a landlord, I will be unable to get your house."

"I understand" Jose replied confidentially, "I will not fail you Martinez. Your ninos will be safe, by the grace and power of Sao Cristóvão."

Martinez nodded and slowly drifted off into sleep. Maria turned towards Jose.

"Don't worry" she said, "I'll keep him safe. Besides I've got John Valjean."

Jose looked out the window and saw John Valjean, carefully watching over Martinez and Maria, his eyes glued to the room and his immediate surroundings.

"I see" Jose replied, more for himself than anything.

"Good" Maria continued, "Now go find those kids Jose. Maybe it'll inspire you."

Jose was confused by her meaning.

"Inspire me for what?" he asked, pressing for information. Maria gave a coy laugh and a smile. Panchito and Donald picked up on it instantly. Iago already knew just from looking at her, Horatio didn't really care and personally wanted to get out of the room and avoid the comedic situation all together. Angel and Devil rolled their eyes and whispered into Jose's ear what Maria meant by finding his inspiration, upon hearing this Jose smiled and walked out of the room.

Outside of the hospital, they were met by Norman, who was panting heavily and looking like he had just seen a ghost.

"Eh?" Jesus began, "Senor Norman, o que ha es errado?"

Norman lifted up his wing to signal that he needed a minute, the bird was sweating profusely, his breathing was shallow and his eyes were redder than they should've been. Horatio immediately became concerned when he didn't answer, for this never happened before.

"Norman!" Horatio yelled, "Answer him!"

Norman continued breathing heavily and remained unresponsive, his wing still in the air as if he were asking for help and simply not communicating what was wrong properly. Donald stepped in.

Donald, once being a sailor and thus trained in medical situations pulled out a defibrillator from his pocket and charged it, he then turned to Panchito and ordered him to count to three. Panchito, not wanting to waste time asking why Donald had a defibrillator to begin with, complied with the order without hesitation.

Donald shocked Norman as soon as Panchito said three. He waited five seconds for a response before he increased the voltage and shocked him again. Still nothing. Donald increased the voltage again, same result. Horatio, Jose and Jesus made the sign of the cross and began giving Norman last rites. Donald increased the voltage for a third time.

This time Norman shot up and "came back to life." He looked around and quickly turned to Jose.

"I know where they are" Norman hurried, "They're at Machu Picchu...in Peru."

Panchito, upon hearing this, whistled and called upon Serape, his magic flying carpet. Iago produced an ululation summoning Carpet.

"I think I win" Iago said smugly to Panchito, who rolled his eyes annoyingly.

"Yeah, yeah sure" Panchito replied, "But only because you did the tongue thing."

Iago huffed at Panchito's lack of cultural awareness, "It's called ululating. Look it up sometime, you might learn a few things."

Panchito made a note of it. He would forget it within five minutes.

Jose and Donald took Serape, for she could only bare so much weight, Carpet, who was stronger, took on Horatio and Jesus. Iago and Panchito then piloted their respective carpets towards Peru.

Machu Picchu-Three Hours Later

10:00pm

The Three Caballeros and Iago, Horatio and Jesus crept through the ruins of the Machu Picchu. Carpet and Serape meanwhile, were busy having their own conversation through a series of complicated gestures. It went sometime along the lines of this.

Carpet started first.

"So how's work with Panchito? He hasn't unraveled you yet has he?"

Serape shook her head, "Not yet" she answered, "But I've come close too many times to count."

Carpet carelessly swept his tassels through the dirt; he noticed how Serape looked as if she were crimson in the moonlight. It would've been romantic had it not been for the constant reminder of Machu Picchu which, for Carpet at least, kept him in reality.

Serape continued the conversation, her voice; if you could call it that was flowing and reminded Carpet of flowers gently gliding down the Euphrates River (Carpet had spent some time in India before the Cave of Wonders and so was familiar with the area). This image temporarily took Carpet into the realm of fantasy.

"How's Iago?" Serape asked, "Not as bad as the rooster I hope?"

"He's great actually" Carpet answered mechanically, "Things between us could never be better..."

Carpet trailed off as if he were remembering painful or unpleasant memories. Serape looked concerned but couldn't show it because she was a carpet and thus had no facial features.

"Is something wrong?" Serape said as she moved closer to Carpet, who remained silent

"It's nothing" Carpet declared after a few minutes of silence and some contemplation, "At least nothing important. What matters is that I'm fine and you're fine. We should be grateful for that."

Serape nodded, knowing that this was Carpet's way of saying the three words that every girl wants to hear. At the same time it was the also Carpet's way of asking the four words that every girl wants to hear after she hears the first three. Serape already had an answer for the second, she embraced Carpet and they simply breathed, thankful that Iago and Panchito brought them together once again.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jose screamed suddenly, "Let's get back on track here. This is about us, remember?"

Panchito, Horatio, Donald, Iago and Jesus were staring glaringly towards the computer screen as if the writer had done something wrong, which he had.

"Really dude?" Donald said, "Really? You're blowing us off for that? Come on. We've got kids to save from a homicidal bird killing, manic, ain't nobody got time for that!"

We'll get back to Carpet and Serape later. Right now we have to focus on the task at hand.

"Thank you" Jose said annoyingly, "Now do us a favor and make it a little more obvious. Fernando is apparently invisible."

"Si" Jesus replied, "We've looked all over this place. He isn't here."

Fine, Fernando suddenly appeared behind them, gun in one hand and Ophelia in the other. The gun was pressed against Ophelia's temple threateningly.

"Looking for someone?" Fernando asked sarcastically, causing everyone to turn around.

The Three Caballeros turned towards the writer; they were giving him a 'What the hell?' look.

"What are you guys looking at?" Ophelia asked, shaking violently from fear, "You're supposed to be saving me!"

Jesus, Horatio and Iago got them back on track by slapping them in the face.

"Now, where were we?" Fernando said to himself, "Ah yes, this!"

Fernando fired his gun, thankfully the gun misfired. Ophelia took this opportunity to make an escape attempt and bit Fernando's hand, causing Fernando to reflexively flare his hands out, accidently pointing the gun towards his own face. Fernando quickly corrected this error and pointed the gun at Donald, at that moment the gun went off.

Panchito attempted to deflect the bullet by firing one of his own, but the rooster missed and instead hit a distant tree.

"Sorry tree" Panchito screamed, "Didn't mean to hit you!"

The tree that Panchito hit waved its branches in the breeze as if to say, "It's alright" Panchito imagined this to be in a stereotypical New York accent for some reason.

Jose tried to deflect the bullet by pulling out his umbrella, but then he remembered on what happened the last time he did this trying to do the exact same thing, it did not go well. Jose immediately retreated with his plan and stepped out of Donald's way. The bullet, which halfway to Donald, for it was a slow moving one, was lazily traveling along its path. Donald was barely in any danger at all, all he would have to do to avoid it was to move a little to the right or left. But Donald was oblivious to this, Jesus, Iago and Horatio were not.

"Dude" Horatio screamed, "Move!"

Donald was frozen. Ophelia was already on Jesus' back, who instinctively ran off to find Jorge. Panchito, seeing that this was going to take forever and being that he gets bored easily, went off with them, leaving Horatio, Iago and Jose to deal with the situation.

Carpet and Serape meanwhile, were doing a carpet dance that required a lot of weaving and tassel flirting. This was the equivalent of sex for them. Iago could hear a lot of noise going on from behind him; he turned around and saw the scene.

"Hey!" the parrot cried, "There are times and a places guys. 10:00 at night in Machu Picchu while we're saving some annoying urchins isn't one of them!"

Carpet and Serape didn't hear him, or ignored him entirely. Iago sighed heavily and flew over to them to try and tear them apart from each other. This left Horatio and Jose to deal with the situation.

Fernando, throughout all of this, was staring at the scene before him in total confusion and disbelief. The bullet was still moving an extremely slow pace; it was now closer to Donald though. Horatio nonchalantly picked the bullet out of the area and threw it towards Fernando, the bullet now moving the speed that bullets move.

"That's not fair" Fernando said in disbelief, "That's not fair at-"

Fernando didn't get a chance to finish to his sentence, the bullet hitting him in his neck, silencing him. Fernando fell to the ground; Jose could still hear Fernando wheezing and accordingly flew over and began beating Fernando to a pulp.

"You have ruined my life" Jose sneered as he punched Fernando in the stomach, "You kidnapped me, you tried to murder me...you almost murdered Martinez and you had the balls to kidnap his children. I could save you. I know how, but I will not. The world is a better place without Fernando Miguel. Know that. Know that it was not the bullet that killed you, but me, Jose Carioca."

Jose pulled out a switchblade; for he always carried it with him should situations like this arise. This makes you wonder why, when he was in Fernando's house in the beginning, he didn't use it then. The reason? He completely forgot about it when he was being tortured, drugged and tied to a chair for about three days or so.

Jose brought the blade to Fernando's neck and finished him off. It was over.

Jesus, Panchito and Ophelia came back with Jorge, who's right wing was broken and his face mildly scratched. Horatio, upon seeing them and remembering on what Martinez suffered, instantly thought about taking them back to Rio and having them tested for rape, STDs and then after that perhaps some therapy. But Horatio knew that ultimately he couldn't make any of those calls, for Martinez was still their father and his judgment would be final.


	11. For the Birds

Chapter Eleven

For the Birds

Meanwhile in Rio de Janeiro

10:00 pm

Maria was dutifully waiting next to Martinez's bed. She noticed that a lamp in the room across the hall was on, it wasn't on before. Walking over to the door of Martinez's room Maria found an empty and dark hallway, the orderlies wouldn't be back for another twenty minutes, for they had made their rounds. Maria could hear the sound of screaming coming from the other room, she looked back at Martinez and then back towards the door of the other room before making her decision and moving across the hallway.

Peering into the window of the door, Maria saw a Toco Toucan sitting next to a bed, in which was a Keel-billed Toucan. Maria slowly opened the door and stood inside the doorway. The Toucan sitting in the chair looked up and motioned for her to come in.

"Was that you who was screaming a few minutes ago?" Maria asked, despite that the screaming happened thirty seconds ago and she knew that not even a minute had passed between the scream and her entrance into the room.

"No" the Toucan, who was male, answered, "Eva, my wife. She's suffering, sometimes she screams at night. I've been ordered to give her sedatives until it happens."

"What you do mean 'it'?" Maria pressed, "Is she?"

The Toucan nodded, "Seven months we found out that she has ovarian cancer. It's Stage Four. I've taken her to the treatments; we've taken the proper medications and seen all the right people. But we both know."

The Toucan gently placed his wing on his wife's sleeping head and rubbed the feathers that were out of place.

"We've made our peace" he concluded, "And I kept my promise."

Maria raised her eyebrows in confusion and was just about to ask what his promise was when the Toucan extended his wing towards her as if they were on the street instead of a hospital room.

"Rafael" the Toucan replied as he stood and gave a short bow, throwing on some charm, but not too much for he was in the presence of his wife and even when she was laying in bed and dying, she still scared the hell out of him.

"Rafael" Maria repeated to herself, thinking that she recognized the name

"So you're Rafael too?" Rafael asked a bit confused, "Well that's not what I would've picked but if that's your name, that's your name."

Maria laughed, it was a loud laugh. Rafael, in response covered his wife's ears with his wings. He then gave a look towards her that told her to keep her voice down.

"Please Rafael" Rafael continued, "My wife is trying to sleep! I want her last few hours to be peaceful! Besides there are other people in those hospital who would appreciate it if you shut up."

Maria was about to speak again when Rafael turned towards her, "Are you going to be quieter?" Rafael asked, Maria nodded, telling him that she would comply. "Good" Rafael said happily as he slowly stepped away from his wife and sat back in his chair.

Rafael then pulled out a cigar; he wouldn't light it, for he was in a hospital, but it was comforting to him to put it in his mouth and pretend, to smell the taste of the toxic drug that at times like these served for him to be a stress reliever. Maria disagree, for in all honesty she hated cigars and anyone who smoked them, she was trying to convince Jose to quit, but every time he did, just as he was weaned off of it for good, Panchito Pistoles would come back into his life, stress him out and Jose would start smoking again. It was a never ending cycle and one that Maria hoped to change.

"Do you mind?" Rafael asked through his cigar, he wanted to be sure that what he was doing was socially acceptable.

"Yes I do" Maria answered, "I hate cigar smoke."

Rafael laughed and respectfully put the cigar away, "So does my wife. I've been clean for years but every now and again I like to sit around and pretend."

Maria looked back towards Martinez's room; Rafael stood up and walked over to the door.

"Who's the guy next door?" Rafael asked curiously

"Don Martinez" Maria answered, "He's in pretty bad shape. Missing an eye, his children kidnapped by a naturalist..."

Rafael, at hearing Martinez's name was shocked, "You're kidding! Martinez Domingo, the Don of the Brazilian Mafia and the landlord of half of the birds in Rio and Brazil? Sao Cristóvão."

Rafael made the sign of the cross and silently hung his head, when he was done he turned towards Maria.

"He's going to be okay right?" Rafael asked concerning

"He'll be fine "Maria answered, "its Maria by the way. Not Rafael."

Rafael shrugged and turned back to his wife.

"Mi amor" Rafael whispered softly as he reached the bedside, "There's something I want to tell you."

Rafael's wife stirred a bit; she was starting to wake up. Rafael calmed her down, "Easy" he said, "Easy it's okay, it's nothing to rush over."

Rafael's wife slowed down but still managed to open her eyes, she smiled as soon as she saw Rafael, who despite being afraid of his wife, still found a way to smile back. Maria started to go back to Martinez's room to check on him, but before she could leave Rafael stopped her.

"Wait" he pleaded, "Don't go. Not yet. I want you to meet my wife."

Rafael turned towards his wife and gestured towards Maria

"Maria, this is my wife-Eva."

Eva smiled but said nothing, too weak to speak. Maria returned it, "It's a pleasure really" she began, "Your husband is a loving bird."

Eva raised her eyebrows at this, for she misinterpreted what Maria was saying, in her mind Eva thought that Rafael was being unfaithful to her.

"No, no" Rafael said rapidly, "She didn't mean it like that"

Eva started to calm down

"Come on" Rafael continued sweetly, "You know that you're the only girl for me. It's in that song remember? The one from Carnaval..."

Eva nodded and started to sway her head as if she were listening to the music in her head. Rafael stopped her and placed her head back in its place on the pillow.

"Don't get excited now" Rafael said as he kissed her forehead, "You remember what the doctors said. If you get excited you'll make things worse."

Eva smiled and patted Rafael's wing lovingly, Rafael did her one better and kissed her on her beak, bidding that she go back to sleep. Eva slowly did so, just before she closed her eyes he heard Rafael whisper into her ear, it made her heart soar.

Maria then walked back over to the door to check on Martinez, she stopped once again as she got to the doorway.

"Rafael. What was that promise that you made to your wife?"

Rafael stood up and walked towards her, he then embraced Maria as tight as he could and smiled

"That I would love her every day" he answered proudly.

Maria then walked back across the hall.


	12. On Love and Faithfulness

**"New Friends in an Old Town" **

Chapter One

On Love and Faithfulness

The Three Caballeros and company were standing in front of Martinez's hospital bed. Jorge and Ophelia were at Martinez's bedside, waiting for him to wake up. Horatio, John Valjean and Norman stood at the door of the room, guarding it from any and all intruders.

It was then that Jose's cell phone rang.

"Jose!" a loud voice screamed, "Where the hell are you? You haven't been to work in the past two weeks. If your ass isn't here by the time we open you're fired!"

Jose quickly shut it and looked at the clock. His work started at 9:00 am, it was now 8:50.

"Damn it" Jose said to himself, "I've got ten minutes to get all the way across town."

Panchito huffed, "We made it to Peru in two hours and you're worried about that? Really, just take Carpet or Serape."

Iago shook his head, "Don't bring Carpet back here" he warned, "Serape's in heat. And if there's one thing that you do not do under any circumstances it is put a female in heat near a male who's trying to bang her. It'll only make things worse."

Panchito thought about this for a few moments, "Good point" he said to Iago, he then turned to Jose, "Don't take Serape either. There are a lot of flying carpets around, believe it or not, especially in Rio."

Jose, despite living in Rio all of his life was completely unaware of the flying carpet population, why Panchito knew this or where he got his information from is anyone's guess. Iago however, agreed with it and since Iago was Grand Vizier and came from a place in which magic flying carpets are common, there was little room to argue with Panchito on the issue.

"Great" Jose continued, "Now how am I supposed to get there?"

A quick knock at the door soon followed. Everyone turned towards it, John Valjean opened the door slightly to see who the guest was.

"Yes?" John Valjean said looking down at Rafael

"Oh, I see." Rafael replied nervously, "I must have the wrong room. I am looking for a Senora Maria. I believe she is in the company of the Don?"

John Valjean opened the door, stepped out into the hallway and closed it. Rafael became uneasy as John Valjean looked him over.

"Please I mean no harm" Rafael continued, "It's just that...well she came to me last night and I was wondering if we could talk. Is that okay?"

John Valjean straightened up and opened the door. He then loudly yelled into the room, "Maria!" he began, "One of your clients is here to see yah!"

Maria, who told no one at any of the nightclubs that she was at the hospital, was extremely confused. Nevertheless, she assumed that if John Valjean cleared him than he was legitimate. Maria calmly made her way to the door; Jose rolled his eyes annoyingly for it seemed that Maria was always working and never took any time to see to his needs.

"See there you go again off to suck some guy's cock!" Jose ranted, "Well if you like your job so much than why don't you marry one of those guys instead of me. You know because that's what people do."

Maria laughed at this, "Not a hooker Jose" Maria said, "Stripper. There is a difference."

Jose huffed, "Yeah right" he replied sarcastically, "You must really think that I'm stupid. I'm the butt of the joke aren't I? The asshole in this situation-"

Jesus gently tapped Jose's shoulder, Jose ignored him and continued

"Well you can tell your friend that he doesn't have to worry about me. Because we're done! Do you hear me Maria! We're done, done like two turkeys on Thanksgiving and finished like marathon runners. Are you listening to me?"

Maria nodded and causally flipped Jose off as she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. Rafael upon seeing her, fought back the urge to cry his eyes out, but he still found himself crying anyway. Maria opened herself up for Rafael to fall into; he took the invitation and hugged Maria's neck as if it were the only thing keeping him together at the moment. Rafael knew that it was coming, but that doesn't mean that he welcomed any more than if he didn't know to begin with. His wife, who he met at Carnaval, the one person who he had a connection with, despite her hard exterior, was dead. Rafael told himself that he wouldn't cry, but that was his head talking, his heart was a different matter entirely.

The door opened, Horatio was standing at the doorway. Maria waved him off.

"But Maria, its Jose" Horatio began, "He's really upset and wants to talk to you."

Maria huffed, "I'm busy" she hissed, "Can't you see that?"

Rafael composed himself and stood on his own two feet. He then stepped away from Maria and shook his head, "Don't worry about me Maria. You go and do your business."

Maria rolled her eyes and grabbed Rafael's wing and led him into Martinez's room and brought him to the bed. Martinez was awake at this point, he was holding his children into his wings, smiling and saying nothing, his face of contempt saying everything. Upon seeing Martinez, Rafael respectfully bowed his head and kissed Martinez's wing as is customary.

"Pardon my Portuguese but who the fuck is this?" Jose screamed, Martinez quickly covered his children's ears, Jose did not apologize.

Rafael laughed nervously and introduced himself, "My name is Rafael"

Jesus, upon hearing Rafael's name, recognized him immediately.

"Irmão!" Jesus exclaimed happily, "Como estas?"

Rafael did not recognize Jesus and had no idea as to why the bull was referring to him as his brother, for they were obviously not related.

"Senor" Rafael began, "I do not think you know who you are talking to. I am Rafael, a toucan and you...are a bull."

Jesus thought about the situation more, Jose turned to Rafael and immediately began jumping to conclusions.

"Listen buddy, if you think that you can just screw my girlfriend whenever you feel like it you have another thing coming!"

Rafael slowly backed away, "Take it easy hombre" he replied, "I'm hitched."

"Didn't your wife just die?" Maria pointed out

Rafael shook his head and laughed, "You know nothing about love do you? When you marry someone you make a vow to be with them forever, until the end of both of your lives. Sure you move on and sure you may find someone else, but your heart will always be with the first one, because you gave it to her first."

"What about the second one?" Maria asked curiously, "Doesn't she get something to?"

"Of course" Rafael continued, "But it can and will never be the same."

Jose looked at the clock nervously, he had five minutes to get himself to work or else be fired.

"What are you looking at?" Rafael asked to Jose, "You late for something?"

Jose nodded, "I've got a job to get to in five minutes or else I'm a dead bird."

Rafael laughed sarcastically and walked over to the window, "Come on then" he said to Jose, "Follow me. We fly like the crows do!"

Jose failed to see what flying would do at this point, for it took him twenty minutes to cross the city on a good day, on a bad day it was almost thirty. Rafael and Jose bade goodbye to Maria and those in the room and jumped out the window into the city streets.

Flying high and fast, Rafael moved towards the bullet train, Jose followed and landed on top of the first car he came across. Rafael remained airborne.

"Aren't you getting on?" Jose asked

"No" Rafael answered as he pointed straight ahead. Jose turned around and saw an extremely low tunnel with a one inch clearance, Jose shrugged and did what he always did in situations like this. Sucking in his stomach in and pulling out his umbrella, which became flat, Jose's body followed suit and passed through the short clearance without incident.

Coming around the other side, Rafael landed on top of the car and helped Jose to his feet.

"Where do you work amigo?" Rafael asked curiously

"The Rio de Janeiro Tour Company" Jose answered reluctantly

"I see" Rafael continued, "So you work for Pedro?"

Jose nodded, for Pedro, his uncle, was head of the Rio de Janeiro Tour Company. Despite being a loving canary, who loved his nephew and Maria, Pedro was a stickler when it came to punctuality, something that Jose was terrible at. The only reason that Jose still had a job was because he was family, that would all change if Jose didn't get to work on time.

"Alright listen to me" Rafael instructed, "In exactly thirty seconds you're going to jump off of this train."

Jose stared at Rafael as if he were mentally insane, "Are you crazy?" Jose screamed, "I'll be killed. I may be a bird but I know physics and there is no way in hell that I'll survive a fall."

"Trust me Jose" Rafael reassured, "You're going to be fine. Now get going, you have your ass to save."

"What about you?" Jose asked, "What are you going to do?"

"Me?" Rafael replied, "I'm going to grieve and drown my sorrows in beer...if you want, meet me at the Nature Reserve, you and your friends can meet the guys."

Jose nodded and jumped off of the train. Just when Jose thought he was dead, he landed on an umbrella and bounced off of it, this sent him into a fruit stand which expectedly broke as soon as Jose hit it, causing Jose to be sent from the fruit stand down the street directly in front of the Tour Company with exactly five seconds to spare. Jose quickly stood up and entered the building.

The Rio de Janeiro Tour Company was like your typical agency, the office was small resembling a barber shop with a row of chairs to the left of the door against the wall on which windows were lined all the way to the end of the building. The reception desk was also left but it was center. The tiles on the floor were a checkerboard pattern and were colored blue; the walls were also blue but a bit lighter as if the sun had an effect on it.

The receptionist was busy typing away at a computer, Jose walked past the desk without so much as giving the receptionist a passing glance. Past the receptionist desk on the right side of the building was a smaller desk, chair and lamp. This was Jose's desk; it was covered in dust and looked as if it hadn't been used in months. Truth be told, Jose rarely ever came into the office, for he simply reported to his usual post and started giving tours to people who asked.

Pedro's office was in the back of the building. Opening the door, Jose was face to face with Pedro, whose face was dead locked in Jose's direction as if he had been staring at the door waiting for Jose to open it for several hours. Pedro's eyes, which were normally blue and bright, were now red and dark, almost like a demonic force had overtaken him.

"You can't keep doing this Jose" Pedro said as Jose closed the door behind him and took a chair in front of the desk in front of Pedro.

"I know Uncle" Jose answered, "But it's not like it was my fault. Fernando Miguel-"

Pedro slammed his wing on the table, silencing Jose for a moment. Jose jumped a bit, causing Pedro to smile; it was not a warm one.

"You realize that I have good reason to fire you right now?" Pedro exclaimed threateningly, "What's gotten into you Jose? You used to be so dependable! Now look at you...you're never in the office, you're late when you show up, your desk in a mess, you're attitude is poor, you have no confidence and worst of all you're lazy."

Jose was about to retort when Pedro spoke again.

"Personally I blame that Pistol character"

"It's Pistoles" Jose corrected

"Don't correct me" Pedro warned, "Especially when I'm in behind this desk. When I'm behind this desk I am always right. I have the best ideas, that's why I'm the boss and you're just a little stooge."

Jose did not like being called a stooge, that implied that he had little worth to Pedro, which was completely false, for Pedro relied on Jose a great deal which is a problem when you're never in the office and don't report anything in.

"It's nothing personal Jose" Pedro concluded, "You know that. You knew that coming in. Just because you're my nephew doesn't mean that you get royalties. You work hard and you get the big rewards, you slack off and you get fired. Frankly Jose you've been slacking off too much around here. I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go."

Jose wanted to tell Pedro off as a boss, but he knew as a nephew if he did he would live with it for the rest of his life, for Pedro was always around, even when you least expected him.

"I understand sir" Jose answered respectfully, "I'm sorry for wasting your time." Jose then stood up, shook Pedro's hand and walked out of the room.

At that moment, Rafael entered the building, stopping by on his way to the bar to see how Jose was coming along. Jose only walked past the toucan saying nothing, his head hung down like Charlie Brown. Rafael looked after him, extremely concerned, the toucan followed the parrot out the door.

"Where are you going?" Rafael asked, trying to get Jose's attention

"The closest bar in town" Jose answered, "Why you got any better ideas?"

Rafael shook his head, "Not really. I could really use a drink right now; it's starting to set in."

Jose walked on, Rafael sighed deeply and continued

"Can I join you?" Rafael begged, "Please Senor. I-I-I need..."

"Let me guess" Jose replied indifferently, "You need someone to understand?"

Rafael nodded, he began crying, it was controlled for now, but Jose knew that it would quickly change.

"Well don't even bother" Jose continued, "I've got problems of my own to deal with."

"My wife died this morning" Rafael said, distraught once again, "Do you have any idea what that's like? To lose the one person that you loved so completely. One minute they're there, lying beside you and the next they're gone! I don't care that you don't understand, I don't care that you haven't suffered like I have, but I need you. I need you to listen to me..."

Jose shook his head, "No" he exclaimed, "I'm sorry Rafael. But I can't help you. I am not a consoler."

"I don't need a consoler!" Rafael screamed, "I need a friend! I need someone who listens to me, who knows what pain is! Pedro and Nico, they only pretend to have empathy. They don't know. Luiz is as dumb as a sack of bricks."

For a moment when Rafael said 'Pedro' Jose thought that he was talking about his uncle, this was not the case, for Rafael's Pedro, is a red crested cardinal. To avoid confusion, Jose's Pedro will forever be known as Uncle Pedro and Rafael's Pedro will simply be Pedro.

"I'm sorry but I have no idea who you're talking about" Jose said after concluding that Rafael's Pedro and his Pedro were two completely different individuals.

"My friends" Rafael explained, "They're the ones that I wanted you to meet. They don't know, they've never experienced pain. But you Jose, you have. I can tell just by looking at you."

Jose shook his head in denial but Rafael denied him this and continued

"You were young weren't you?" Rafael began, "Who was it? A mother, a father..."

Jose walked on, Rafael followed him diligently

"Who died?" Rafael pressed

"It's none of your business" Jose answered, "I don't know you. You're just a sad toucan looking for a shoulder to cry on. Why don't you take Maria? You two seem pretty happy together."

Rafael raised his eyebrows at this, "Are you jealous of me? Do you think that-?"

Jose nodded, "Yeah I do" he answered sharply, "Stay away from my girlfriend and I might consider being friends with you. You don't just go and do what you did when you've only just a met a person!"

Rafael huffed in disbelief, "I'm sorry" he said sarcastically, "But in case you didn't know my wife just died of cancer. I'm emotionally unstable and she offered to console me which I gladly accepted, not because I wanted to 'get with her' but because she was being a good person helping someone in need. We talked last night, I was taking my situation rather hard, she was there to help me pick up the pieces."

Rafael moved closer to Jose, within slapping distance

"I would never...ever...think about Maria in that way. I love my wife. There may come a day when I am ready to love again and when that day comes I hope to God that I find a girl who is half as good as what you have right now. You are the luckiest bird alive getting to say that Maria is yours, you should be grateful, in fact, you should be proud of her. She's a good person and a good friend to me, but she's your best friend and that's something that I will never be."

Rafael walked towards the nearest bar, leaving Jose standing on the sidewalk, a confused and contemplative expression on his face.


	13. Monster

Chapter Two

Monster

Donald, Panchito and Maria walked out of the hospital heading towards Jose's house to prepare it for whenever Jose decided to come home. Donald and Panchito were busy talking about what they were going to do and their future plans. Donald was scheduled to leave the next day, Panchito however was free until forever, for he had almost no obligations to speak of in Mexico...expect his family that he never sees.

Maria was thinking about Eva, she wondered if like Rafael, she was a good bird. She had a feeling that they would've been friends or at the very least acquaintances.

"So what was up with the toucan?" Donald asked turning to Maria

"Rafael" Maria answered, "He was tending to his dying wife last night. She didn't survive, died during the night."

Donald became uncomfortable and dropped the subject. Panchito, being Panchito, brought it back up.

"Well where does he live?" the rooster asked, "We can cheer him up. If there is one that Panchito Pistoles is good at it is cheering people up when they're down."

Maria shrugged, for she didn't get Rafael's personal information in their two conversations that they've had with each other. She was beginning to think that she should have.

"I don't know" Maria answered, "Maybe we should ask around."

"Yeah cause that's a good idea" Donald replied sarcastically, "There has to be what...a million toucans around here. It's impossible!"

Something moved in the alleyway next to them, the sound of moving garbage cans. Panchito and Maria looked in the general direction; Donald heard something in the opposite direction and looked towards it.

"This is the last time I'm going to tell you" a voice said threateningly, "Either give me what I want or I start breaking things off of you."

"Come on" a second voice, nervous and terrified replied, "You don't want to do that me do you? I mean I'm your friend!"

"No friend of mine" the first voice continued, "A real friend would give me what I want."

The second voice began crying. Maria, Panchito and Donald continued to look around obliviously, not thinking to look in the trees where the conversation was taking place.

Nigel the cockatoo was on the verge of a panic attack. He had never been so afraid of something in his entire life, for now the glove was on the other hand. Nigel was choking under the weight.

"Please Senor Miguel" Nigel pleaded, "Don't...kill me. I've got a family; you know what that's like right?"

This only caused Nigel to be squeezed harder.

"You're lying Nigel" the first voice sneered, "You don't have a family. You only have yourself. You're a loner, a sad, washed up loser!"

"Be that as it may" Nigel continued, "I'm still a bird and its people like you who are killing us. Your brother got what was coming to him."

This was followed by a hard slap and Nigel being thrown from the tree, landing into Donald.

The cockatoo stared at the duck for a few moments, confused as to how he had gotten there, for everything had happened so fast that he saw no time pass from the time to being on top of Donald. Donald, upon seeing Nigel, screamed in horror, for the cockatoo's face was scarred horribly for Nigel had recently been in a horrible accident that burned the right side of his face. Nigel's right eye was lower than his left, making him look like Quasimodo.

"Help" Donald screamed, "Zombie, it's going to eat me!"

Panchito pulled out his guns and aimed them at Nigel, who promptly raised his wings in surrender.

"Easy friend" Nigel said, "I'm not going to eat anybody. This is all a big misunderstanding."

"What do you mean?" Maria asked, "You look hideous. What happened to you?"

Nigel stepped off of Donald and motioned for them to follow, they did so.

Nigel stopped in front of the Nature Reserve; it was a large building on a raised platform. It looked like something off of Kashyyyk from Star Wars with its cone shaped roof and balcony that wrapped all the way around the building.

"The Rio de Janeiro Nature Reserve" Nigel began, "The only sanctuary for the homeless denizens of the bird community."

Maria, Donald and Panchito were confused as to how this explained anything. Nigel rolled his eyes and jumped on the balcony, he winced in pain, injured from being thrown out of the tree like a bullet from a gun. Maria and Donald became concerned, for they watched Nigel move up on the balcony, Panchito was busy cleaning and loading his guns in preparation.

"Are you guys coming or what?" Nigel called from inside. Maria, Donald and Panchito followed Nigel inside, Panchito placing his guns back in their holster on the way.

The inside of the Nature Reserve mirrored the atmosphere of the jungle that surrounded it. The inner walls were made entirely of bamboo; the floors were made of mahogany wood as well as all of the furniture. On the left side of the room, tucked away behind a dividing wall, was an eco friendly generator, for there were no corners, the building being circular in shape. On the ceiling were several branches that served as roosts for the various birds that called this place home. The branches were separated by small poles to make sure that every bird had his or her own space; underneath these spaces were plaques with names. Nigel's plaque was above the door, the right side of the room belonged entirely to Rafael and his family. Nigel walked over and pulled up a chair, he stood on top of it and pulled Eva's plaque down with his teeth.

"Sonho feliz sonhos amor para quando você acordar você será cercado por amigos e familiares." Nigel exclaimed as he threw the plaque down on the floor, "Vamos dançar e cantar como nós sempre fizemos e tudo estará bem."

Maria and Panchito wiped their eyes; Donald looked at Nigel with a confused look. Nigel saw this and gave a translation.

"Dream happy dreams love, for when you wake you shall be surrounded by friends and family. We shall dance and sing like we've always done and all will be well."

Donald nodded in understanding and hung his head in reverent silence.

Nigel flipped on a light switch, for the Reserve was covered in darkness, in the light Maria, Donald and Panchito got a better look at Nigel and his body. His wings were ripped, flying for him would be impossible. His back was covered in scars and bruises, from falls, beatings, fights and other physical encounters.

"It's worse than it seems believe me" Nigel said seeing their stares, "I used to be quite a looker you know. Then the accident happened."

Panchito rolled his eyes; he was getting tired of all of this drama. It was time for some fun.

"Look Senor" Panchito said rather annoyed, "What do we have to do to make you happy?"

"Happy?" Nigel replied, extremely confused, "Who said I was depressed? I'm just telling you how I got this way. You guys asked, I'm telling you, it's as simple as that."

"Well it's depressing" Panchito continued

Nigel shrugged, "Be like the bird who, pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing she hath wings."

"Tennyson?" Donald asked

"Victor Hugo" Nigel answered, "Now. Since you're so eager to change the subject Senor Pistoles..."

Panchito was confused as to how Nigel knew his name. Panchito slowly reached for his gun out of fear. Nigel stopped and stared at Panchito, appalled and offended beyond measure.

"You think just because I look like the walking dead that I'm going to hurt you?" Nigel asked, "Why that's almost insulting."

"Almost insulting" Donald exclaimed, "How can it be almost insulting?"

"Because it's completely true" Nigel answered bluntly, "Now if we're done with the pleasantries, shall we begin?"

Maria raised her eyebrows, "What exactly are we beginning?"

Nigel ignored her and knocked on the floorboard, he was answered with "A Shave and a Haircut" Nigel nodded and lifted up the floorboard revealing an elevator that only went one direction-down. Nigel motioned for them to get one, they reluctantly did so.

The elevator went down, it never seemed to end. Panchito started hyperventilating, for he was uncomfortable in small spaces. Nigel was close to slapping him just to get him to stop, but before he could the elevator stopped and the doors open. They all stepped through the door and the elevator went back to the surface. They were standing in a narrow corridor, at the end of the room was a red door.

Nigel took three steps before he was met by a flying screen; it had a scanner on the bottom of it.

"Identification please" the screen asked as it scanned Nigel

Nigel rolled his eyes for this was the part that he hated the most, "You know who I am Carl. Now kindly let me pass!"

Carl only repeated what he said before.

Nigel sighed and gave his name.

"Edgar Nigel Romero Williamson Pendleton Jacobson Lewis Nightingale Cockatoo"

Carl stood there, saying nothing, for there was more to Nigel's name.

"The Sixth" Nigel concluded

Carl beeped and let Nigel pass through. Carl stopped Maria and Donald next.

"Identification please" Carl said sternly.

"They're with me Carl" Nigel explained, "Let them pass."

Carl shook his head, "I'm sorry Edgar Nigel Romero Williamson Pendleton Lewis Nightingale Cockatoo but I cannot do that."

Nigel groaned, "I told you Carl. It's Nigel, just Nigel, nothing else!"

"I don't listen to monsters" Carl replied

Nigel was flabbergasted, too upset to even say anything. Carl turned back to Maria and Donald.

Maria shrugged and complied with Carl's demands. "Maria Francesca Serengeti-Carioca"

Carl floated, saying nothing.

"It's happening okay?" Maria said annoyingly, "Very soon. Just, not for a few months. Might as well just used to it."

Carl let it slide and Maria passed through him standing next to Nigel.

Donald smiled, he knew how to deal with security, do whatever it is that they said without question and you'll make it out with your wings working, your feathers on and your beak on your face.

"Donald Frederick Duck III" he said confidentially. Carl let him pass.

Panchito stepped up to Carl. He took a deep breath, praying that this would work.

"Panchito Pistoles"

Carl floated there, saying nothing and refused to let Panchito pass.

"Come on" Panchito screamed, "Do I really have to say all of it?"

Carl nodded in response. Panchito groaned and pulled out a piece of paper, for even he had difficultly remembering it.

"Panchito Romero Miguel..."

Panchito squinted, for he couldn't read the handwriting

"Junipero Francisco..."

After that the writing was illegible, Panchito rattled his brain for the rest of his name. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't remember it. He took a shot in the dark.

"Quintero Gonzalez...the Second"

Panchito was actually the third. Carl knew this by scanning him and so kept Panchito where he was.

Nigel sighed, for he had had enough of this charade. He stepped up in Panchito's place and did his best impression of him.

"Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero Gonzalez the Third."

Carl beeped and Panchito passed through, now Nigel was trapped by Carl once again.

"I already gave you my name Carl" Nigel answered annoyingly, "Do I really have to give it again?"

Carl nodded and Nigel repeated his name for a second time. When this was over, Carl finally let Nigel pass and they went on their way.

"How did you know I was a third?" Panchito asked

"The author was kind enough to give to me" Nigel answered, "You know, since I'm going to be here for a while."

"You're a main character?" Panchito continued in disbelief, "That's it we're done. We're going to Hell now. I'm sorry mother, father and all 36 of my brothers, I have failed you."

Nigel slapped Panchito as hard as he could. "That's enough of that" Nigel barked, "I will not be nice again. You get two freebies. One Quasimodo comment and one Frankenstein's Monster comment. After that, the gloves come off and the talons are sharpened. Use them wisely."

Panchito said nothing.

Nigel led them down the hallway to the red door to large room. The floor was covered in sparring mats from the local martial arts club, the wall to the left of Nigel and company was a huge mirror. The room was rectangular in shape, the door being on the short side, making the room something of a long tunnel. At the other end of the tunnel was another door.

"What is this place?" Maria asked curiously

"This is Habitat One" Nigel answered, "A hospital for victims of Fernando Miguel."

Nigel led them down the room, they reached the other door. Opening it revealed a large underground hospital. Numerous beds filled with birds of all stripes could be seen on both sides.

"Wait a minute" Panchito said, "So you're telling me that Fernando Miguel did all of this?"

Nigel shook his head sadly, for he wished that it only Fernando Miguel.

"There's more to it than just Fernando" Nigel explained, "He was part of a network of scientists, naturalists and botanists dedicated to bettering humanity through inhumane experiments on animals. Their cause is just, but their methods are not. They call themselves the Scientist's Army Dedicated to Wiping out All Birds and Wildlife for the Betterment of Humanity for Scientific Research in The Effort for Curing Human Diseases. We call it SADWOB."

"So what do we have to do with any of this?" Donald asked, "I mean...what exactly are you?"

Nigel laughed, "I'm a cockatoo. What did you think I was a canary?"

"That's not what I meant" Donald replied, "I mean what do you do?"

Nigel looked around and then back at Donald, "I'm a doctor, Donald. I take care of the birds here and the homeless topside."

"That's very noble of you Senor" Panchito said with as much respect as possible, "But why? What caused you to do this?"

Nigel fluttered his wings, breathed in and gave yet another answer.

"When I lost the ability to fly...a lot changed for me. I realized that I was fooling myself if I believed that- well what I believed. Fernando Miguel, kidnapped so many, some of them I'm still trying to find. While I was searching for one of them, Fernando and his brother, Federico, kidnapped me. Burned me, making my, shall we say condition, that much worse. I promised myself and the birds that I would do everything in my power to protect them from people like Fernando Miguel. So I started the shelter inside the Nature Reserve and the hospital down below."

"But why have it all the way down here?" Panchito asked, still confused

"SADWOB's reach is wide spread" Nigel explained, "It's too dangerous for the hospital to be above ground, so I built it underground."

"You built this?" Maria said with surprise

"With my own money" Nigel added, "It took longer than I expected but it was worth it in the end. Come, meet my associates."

Nigel walked down the line, stopping when he got to Pedro, the red crusted cardinal and Nico. Both of them were wearing lab coats.

"Pedro, Nico" Nigel began, "This is Maria Serengeti- Carioca, Donald Frederic Duck III and Panchito Pistoles."

Panchito huffed, annoyed in that he didn't get his full name introduced. He quickly rationalized this in his head by remembering that the first Nigel heard was Panchito Pistoles, and that he called himself that by default for saying his real name was tiresome. Panchito was sure that Nigel only referred to himself as Nigel or in more formal situations, Edgar.

"Pleased to meet you Doctors" Maria said automatically assumed that Pedro and Nico were doctors. They laughed in response.

"Hey Nico" Pedro exclaimed, "We just got doctored. What are you a professional in?"

Nico laughed and flipped his bottle cap only for it to land on his head, "Didn't you hear? I got my PhD in Psychology to discover the reasons behind Invisible Spaghetti Monster in the Sky Theory and to disprove Scientology as a joke and a shame on society. What about you?"

"I got my PhD in Whooping Major Ass and Dropping Beats" Pedro answered as he picked up a double bass from the corner of the room and dropped it.

Nigel cleared his throat trying to get their attention. Pedro and Nico slowly remembered that there were other people in the room besides themselves and thus got back on track.

"We ain't doctors" Pedro admitted, "The only real doctor here is Nigel, we just volunteer from time to time."

Nigel grimaced in pain; he walked over to a table, picked up a roll of medical tape and began wrapping it around himself particularly in the areas where his wing met his back. Pedro and Nico looked at Nigel with concern; Nigel ignored them and told them to carry on with their business.

"Shall we then?" Nigel continued towards the three guests

Donald looked at his watch and noticed the time, "Actually Nigel we need to get going. Is there another exit we can use? One that's closer?"

Nigel nodded and pointed to the ladder on the far side of the room. "That'll take you straight to the surface next to the Amazon's Rest nightclub. If you see Horatio or Norman, tell them that Nigel says hello."

They nodded, thanked Nigel for his time and the information and climbed up the ladder. Nigel looked after them, smiling as he saw the sky appear from the manhole cover, he saw a bird flying through the sky and wondered if that could be him again. When the manhole cover closed, Nigel walked back down the line to tend to patients while Pedro and Nico finished their shift and went back to the surface, leaving Nigel alone in the hospital.


	14. The Vase Incident

Chapter Three

The Vase Incident

Martinez walked into his house to find that everything was just as it was before. Jorge and Ophelia were on his back, both of them having falling asleep in the hospital. Martinez decided to call John Valjean to watch the kids, John Valjean happily agreed for if there was anything he loved more than being Martinez's friend, it was Martinez's kids.

Martinez felt lucky that he had a friend like John Valjean for he was sure that John Valjean had other plans to do that day. Of course Martinez said nothing, for he was not good with words, he believed that actions spoke louder than words in the most literal sense of the statement. Once it was settled, Martinez made his way to Jose's tree.

The inside of Jose's tree was in many ways like Martinez's, big, spacious and with plenty of room. The only difference was that Jose had one bedroom on his second and instead of an attic on the top floor, he had an observatory.

Martinez looked down at the mat and wiped his feet, for he wanted to be a good house guest. At that moment the phone that was on the coffee table in front of Jose's couch rang, Martinez initially wanted to let it go, but curiosity got the better of him and so the vulture answered it on the fifth ring.

"Jose!" a voice screamed, "Where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick about you? Did you know that you father is dead, as in never coming back!"

It was Jose's mother, Zaphora. That wasn't her real name; her real name was Beatrice Mahoney, Jose's mother being an American who was originally supposed to stay in Brazil for six months on a work visa and ended up marrying Jose's father, who was also named Jose Carioca. The reason why Beatrice changed her name to Zaphora was to make her feel more exotic than she actually was. She did however develop an accent, quite a feat for an outsider to any country.

"Zaphora" Martinez answered, "Jose's not home. This is Martinez Melendez Francesco Lupez."

At the mentioning of Martinez's name Zaphora groaned in annoyance.

"Oh it's you" she replied, "Are you done extorting my son yet? Or did you finally grow a brain and stop harassing people out of their hard earned money like the criminal that you are?"

Martinez would not deny her, for he was the Don of a mafia and thus still considered by many to be a criminal. He only shook his head and rolled his eyes in response. Zaphora took this silence and interpreted it as Martinez hanging up the phone.

"Good he's gone" she said to herself, "Seriously where does Jose find these people? I don't know. But its guys like Martinez who need to be locked up and given the death penalty."

"That's a little extreme isn't it Mrs. Carioca?" Martinez replied, catching Zaphora off guard.

"Oh" she said, obviously embarrassed, "You're still here Mr. Lupez. Well let me tell you that I cannot stress enough how sorry and embarrassed I am."

Martinez huffed, "Save your breath lady" he answered, "You're lucky that I'm on good terms with Jose."

"And how long will that last I wonder?" Zaphora asked curiously, "Until Jose runs out of money to pay you and your goons that you people call a mob?"

Martinez shook his head in disbelief, for there was absolutely no reasoning with her, still he couldn't rule out the possibility.

"That's a long way away" Martinez answered, "He did me a personal favor, as long as he stays on my good side all of his debts are cleared."

Zaphora laughed sarcastically, "And how short is that fuse of yours on the top of your head Mr. Lupez? An inch, less? As soon as Jose does something that is the least little bit out of your favor you'll snap and pile the debt back on. I know your type, only in it for the money; people mean nothing to you, less than nothing."

Martinez said nothing and hung up the phone, cutting off Zaphora just as she was about to continue the conversation that had become pointless and entirely in her favor. For a moment Martinez wondered if she was right, if he really was in his friendship with Jose for the money. Martinez had put himself in the hole when he voided Jose's debts and was now forced to earn money doing his other job. But then again he was always a mob boss to begin with.

"One of these days I'm goanna go straight" Martinez said to himself, "Get out of the mob business all together. For the sake of my kids if nothing less, they don't deserve this life; they're too good for me for that."

Martinez casually leaned on a small table with a vase on it. The vase was elegant that was to be sure and was the only thing that Martinez had saved when he chucked Jose's things out of his house when he evicted him. Martinez accidentally put too much weight on the table, causing the table to fall over, sending himself and the vase to the ground. Martinez stood up without a scratch, the vase however was broken in a million pieces.

Jose, Donald, Maria and Panchito walked through the door. Martinez, in a panic, flew up to the observatory to watch them from above.

"Wow this looks really nice" Jose said as he looked around, not noticing the broken pieces of vase that were scattered across the floor, "Did you guys do this?"

They shook their heads

"Well someone sure did" Jose said impressed at his house. "I mean this is amazing!"

Jose then looked down at the floor and saw the broken vase, at this he began to laugh like an insane person.

"That-that-that" Jose began, "That was my mother's vase, my mother's $50,000 vase."

"Your mother bought a $50,000 vase?" Donald exclaimed, "That's stupid. Who would spend that kind of money on a pot?"

Jose nodded in agreement, "I agree it is stupid and a waste of money. But it's my mother's vase. And if I know my mother she'll be here in..."

Zaphora appeared at the door

"Now" Jose concluded.

Zaphora's eyebrows were furrowed, her eyes were burning red, in her talons was a rat, it looked slightly familiar.

Donald stared at the rat in Zaphora's talons, he recognized it immediately.

"Remy?" he said surprised, "What are you doing here?"

Remy huffed sarcastically and pointed up towards Zaphora.

"Let's see Donald, what am I doing here?" he replied with equal sarcasm, "What do you think! This crazy bitch grabbed me from my restaurant! I have customers to serve and she walks in like she knows something is wrong and kidnaps me!"

Zaphora laughed and brought Remy close to her face, "Don't pretend like you're not enjoying this. You are."

Zaphora then kissed Remy on the cheek, the rat spat out of disgust

"Disgusting!" Remy exclaimed helplessly, "Now I'm going to get some weird bird disease."

Jose shook his head, "That's racist" he said to no one in particular

"Yeah?" Remy answered, "How about instead of standing there you actually do something and HELP ME!"

Jose sighed deeply, for he absolutely hated confrontations with his mother, mostly because he lost every single time. Jose slowly walked towards Zaphora, his head hung low. When he was within slapping distance Zaphora punched him in the face.

"Slapping dance uh" Zaphora grumbled under her breath as she turned to her left, "I'll show you slapping distance!"

Zaphora punched the air to her left, hitting the author in the nose, to everyone else present she punched nothing, but Zaphora smiled as she felt a wave of satisfaction wash over her at seeing the author's pain. Zaphora turned back towards Jose; Remy was struggling at this point.

"Any particular reason why you broke my vase Jose?" Zaphora began, her voice getting more and more sinister with each passing second.

Remy stared at Jose glaringly, "So you're the one who broke the vase she hasn't stopped talking about?"

Donald looked down at his watch; he was due at the airport in an hour. Donald quickly said goodbye to his friends and ran out the door promising to back in a few months.

"I didn't break your stupid vase" Jose said answering his mother, "I found it like this."

Zaphora shook her head in disbelief, "Right like I'm supposed to believe that. What do you think I am, stupid?"

Remy wanted to say something but decided against it, for he had no interest in getting beaten by Jose's mother. Panchito, to save the rat further grief, walked over to Zaphora, who was so angry that her vision was funneled and so she could focus on one thing at a time, that thing at the moment being Jose, and motioned for Remy to crawl up his sleeve. Remy slowly wriggled himself out of Zaphora's grasp and scurried up Panchito's sleeve and breathed a sigh of relief, this was immediately followed by the rat vomiting, for he also breathed in Panchito's body odor, the rooster having neglected the basic rules of personal hygiene.

"That's racist" Panchito said down his shirt, "It's not that bad."

"Are you kidding me?" Remy replied as he cleaned his paws by licking them, at the moment they were the cleanest thing on Panchito, "When was the last time you showered, 1945?"

Panchito laughed, "No you idiot, 1957. It was a good shower."

At this Jose, Maria and Zaphora sniffed the air, they suddenly smelt a foul presence in the air, their noses led them to Panchito. They immediately ran to the other side of the room, Remy tried to the best of his ability to escape, for even Zaphora was better than this, but alas, Panchito's shirt was constricting, he was slowly suffocating.

Martinez flew down from his perch and landed on the ground floor. With no time to ask question, Martinez lifted his talon and cut Panchito's shirt open.

"Hey be careful!" Panchito whined, "This is my only shirt!"

"You can borrow one of mine" Martinez answered, "But right now you're killing this poor rat."

Remy fell to the floor and immediately ran towards the others. Martinez, who was unaffected by Panchito's odor at the moment, his nose not settling in yet, immediately grabbed the rooster by the nape of his neck and flew outside.

"What are you doing?" Panchito asked as he looked down, not fearful but clearly no comfortable.

"This" Martinez answered, who immediately the rooster in Jose's pond.

Martinez then pulled out a bar of soap, shampoo and conditioner and threw it down to Panchito.

"Don't come out of there until you clean yourself up!" Martinez screamed, "And to make sure that you do-"

Martinez snapped his wing, Pedro and Nico appeared instantly.

"My friends are going to watch you. Pedro, Nico you've just promoted up the friendship ladder. Welcome to the Brazilian Mafia."

Pedro and Nico gave each other high fives and presumed to watch Panchito's every move. Panchito reached for the soap.

"So are you guys going to watch me clean myself, or just make sure that I don't get out?" Panchito asked, getting more uncomfortable the longer Pedro and Nico kept staring.

"That depends on you KFC" Nico replied, "We do what we're told. And Martinez, the Homeboy, said for you to clean yourself. So get to it!"

Panchito begrudgingly began washing himself. Martinez walked back inside to find Jose over Zaphora's knee, his ass having a large imprint of Zaphora's wing.

"Is this really necessary?" Jose asked to no one particular, "I mean it's a vase, it's not like a baby or anything. Speaking of which I am an adult, this is technically abuse, I could call the police right now and put you in jail."

"You wouldn't dare" Zaphora exclaimed as she brought her wing once again on Jose's backside, "On your own mother? I raised you better than that Jose."

Martinez walked over to Maria and Remy who were sweeping up the vase pieces. Martinez hated himself for laughing at Jose's misery, especially since he was being humiliated in such a way but it was too much for the vulture to bear so laugh he did.

"Why is this funny to you?" Jose said to Martinez, "And how did you get here anyway?"

Martinez laughed, "Oh yeah I accidentally broke the vase."

Zaphora stopped and turned towards him, "You broke the vase?"

Martinez nodded, "Yes I did. What are you going to do about it?"

Zaphora huffed, "I suspected as much. I always knew you weren't any good Mr. Lupez."

"Please" Martinez replied, "Call me Martinez, everyone calls me Martinez."

Zaphora ignored him and continued, "See Jose this is what you get for hanging around ruffians, broken $50,000 vase."

Jose brushed himself off, "But mama please, let's be reasonable. It was $50,000. On a vase, a useless thing that has no purpose other than to look pretty. It's a like a girl!"

Maria raised her eyebrows at this, "Excuse me?" she said, "You did not just say that to me!"

"I wasn't talking to you" Jose corrected, "You are the love of my life. I was talking to my mother."

Maria huffed, "You say that as if that's supposed to be better?"

Remy walked towards the door, for he hated family confrontations, just as he was about to escape Zaphora caught him once again.

"Oh no you don't" she exclaimed, "You're not getting away that easy."

Remy struggled to break free, but his efforts were futile.

"Look lady" he said extremely annoyed, "I'm sure you're great woman. You raised a beautiful son and you still have your looks, all of those are pluses, believe me. But this relationship is not possible. One, I'm a rat you're a bird; technically we should be mortal enemies. Two, I have a girlfriend back at home. It's getting pretty serious right now and we're at the point where-"

Zaphora squeezed Remy, cutting him off in the process; the rat took a deep breath and continued.

"I'm getting married in a few months. I really should be getting back, so if you don't mind taking me back to Paris that would be great."

Zaphora ignored him, "You don't have a girlfriend and you're not engaged."

Remy laughed, it was one of pity. "Um, yeah I do and yes I am" he answered, "Everything's already been planned, we've already got a set date and invited all the people that we wanted to invite."

Jose huffed, "I didn't get an invitation."

"Really Jose?" Remy said turning towards him, "Really? I'm Pixar, you're Disney. I can't stand you people, always telling Pixar what we can and can't do."

"Disney saved your asses and you know it" Jose replied, "Without us you wouldn't even exist!"

"True" Remy continued, "But maybe with more funding, we wouldn't need you to begin with. Maybe if people opened their eyes to what was in front of them, we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

Zaphora rolled her eyes and turned back towards her son.

"Don't think you're in trouble Jose because you are. You're grounded."

Jose sighed, "For the last time mother, I am an adult! You cannot control me and what I do. I did not break your vase. Who do you think I am? I am not a criminal!"

"You're right Jose" Zaphora said finally listening to reason, "It makes prefect that Mr. Lupez would do it. You are forgiven."

"I believe you should be the one apologizing mother" Jose declared.

Zaphora punched Jose in the face and then left without another word.

"Hello?" Remy said as Zaphora walked out the door, "Are you just going to leave me? You can't do this me!"

Martinez, Jose and Maria ignored him, they would get him later. At the moment, they continued picked up vase pieces while Panchito was singing the bathtub song outside slowly torturing Pedro and Nico by singing several octaves higher than necessary.


	15. Bullfighting is Illegal in Brazil

Chapter Four

Bullfighting is Illegal in Brazil

Iago sat on top of Christ the Redeemer, the view reminded him of the one that he used to have in Agrabah. He thought about Aladdin, for the bird hadn't seen him in what would have been three years, he also thought about Jasmine.

Before Aladdin, Iago and Jasmine were like peas and carrots, they were together constantly. Iago, in addition to being Jafar's servant, was also something of a tutor to Jasmine, teaching her all of the basics of schooling, math, science, reading, writing, history and music to name a few subjects. But Iago had deeper feelings for Jasmine, even back then, feelings that have only gotten stronger over time.

Iago remembered the exact day, the time and what it was he was doing when he told Jasmine that he loved her. It was December 25th in Agrabah, the idea of Christmas was just starting to come around in the area. The Sultan, Jasmine's father, thought that the holiday was a wonderful idea, much to Iago's dismay, who hated parties and celebrations to begin with.

Iago was hanging up holly on the ceiling of the palace, the Sultan was busy going over plans and Jasmine was helping the other workers with the large tree in the middle of the room. Iago couldn't help but stare at Jasmine's white dress, reminiscent of a wedding dress and an obvious foreshadowing of events to come. He loved that the dress made Jasmine's eyes shine for a few seconds longer, but then again, to Iago they were shining no matter what Jasmine wore.

"Iago" Jasmine called, an ornament in her hand, "Do you think you could help me with this?"

Iago nodded and flew down, taking the ornament with his talons and placing it near the top of the tree.

"Thanks Iago" Jasmine continued gratefully, "You're always on top of things."

Iago smiled and gave a slight bow, "Anything for you Jasmine" he answered, "you know that."

Jasmine returned his smile and went back to her work. Iago remained hovering at the top of the tree.

"Jasmine" Iago began suddenly, "There's something I need to tell you."

Jasmine was hanging a popcorn string on the tree; Iago assisted her by taking the other end and wrapping it around the tree. Jasmine then looked in Iago's direction.

"What is it Iago?" she asked, "Something on your mind?"

Iago nodded and swallowed hard, he didn't feel as if he had the nerve to tell her, but tell he did, if only to soothe his own heart and protect from the agony of rejection by simply getting it over with as quickly as possible.

"Do you remember when I was tutoring you?" Iago began, "How much fun we had?"

Jasmine nodded, she was wondering where he was going with this.

"What was it?" Iago continued, leading her on and trying to get Jasmine to guess what it was he was thinking as a way of protecting himself further.

Jasmine thought her answer, she wouldn't consider it romantic by any means, but it was definitely more than a simple friendship. After they did everything that two individuals could possible do together that was not romantic in nature.

"Very good friends" Jasmine answered, "Why?"

Iago sighed, fearing that was going to her answer. He backed off for a moment but then the words of his mentor, his brother Othello, came back to haunt him.

"You are many things Iago; you have the biggest heart I've ever seen in a bird. But you hide your emotions like one would hide their gold, selfishly. Let people in, let love in and you'll see...everything will get better for you. You are more than you think you are, never forget that."

Iago took a deep breath and a leap of faith. He did not use any other words than those three, he did not embellish or try to work his way around the issue like he had been doing. Jasmine's response was less than favorable, she ran out of the room crying in disbelief. Almost immediately Iago went to Jafar and asked him to erase her memory of him. To this day Jasmine has no knowledge of anything that Iago did, the content of the teaching that Iago gave remained, Iago giving credit to the Sultan. That summer Aladdin came into Jasmine's life and the rest was history.

"What are you doing Senor?" a voice asked curiously

Iago looked down from his perch, finding the voice to be Jesus the Bull.

"Why do you care?" Iago asked coldly, "Can't you see that I'm busy?"

Jesus nodded, "Si. But you look lonely."

Iago shrugged, "So what if I am? I'm not inviting you into my life or anything."

Jesus laughed, it was of the friendly kind but Iago took it in a different way, for Iago hated being laughed at.

"Oh come now" Jesus said, his feelings a bit hurt by Iago's eyes which were glaring at him as if he were the Devil. "I didn't mean it that way you know that. Say, I know a place where we can go. Meet some nice girls, have a few drinks, it'll be great."

Iago huffed, he had no interest of being anywhere with anyone, the only thing that he wanted to do was sulk in his own thoughts and failures. Jesus though wasn't having it.

"Come on Senor" Jesus exclaimed, "I'm taking you out for a night on the town."

"No" Iago replied sternly, "Leave me alone."

Jesus huffed; he was getting tired of this game that Iago was forcing him to play.

"Senor" Jesus began again, "I refuse to see you like this. Now come on. We are going to have fun one way or another. Now, do I have to climb up there and drag you?"

Iago nodded, "Yes you do Jesus" he answered, "Because I'm not moving for anything."

Jesus sighed and shrugged, for he was a bull of his word.

Jesus started the climb by using his horns for leverage, flipping himself up on top of the main pedestal. When this was done, Jesus, in the style of Wile E. Coyote, scrambled up the side of the statue, reaching the right hand ten feet from where Iago was resting.

"Wow" Iago said to himself, "Who would've thought a bull could climb a statue?"

Jesus laughed, "You can thank Frank for that"

Iago raised his eyebrows confusingly, "Frank?"

Jesus shook his head out of pity, "You'll see."

Jesus reached Iago, Iago had a smug smile on his face.

"How you goanna get down asshole?" Iago asked

"Simple" Jesus answered as he prepared himself, "We jump."

Iago's eyes got big at this, "Jump? Are you kidding me? We'll die!"

Jesus laughed, "Yeah we probably will. But that's life sometimes eh?"

Jesus picked up Iago by his mouth and counted to three. Jesus jumped from the top of Christ the Redeemer, Iago was screaming the whole way. Seconds before Jesus would have hit pavement, he stopped midair, defying physics and simply walked down to the ground.

"That is how you do it" Jesus said to no one in particular, "Now, let us go."

Iago rolled his eyes, "And where exactly are we going?"

Jesus laughed and said nothing.

Twenty Minutes Later...

Jesus was standing in the middle of a crowded gladiator style arena. The seats were filled with various patrons, all of them fans of Jesus.

"Ola amigos" Jesus screamed, "Are we ready to have some fun?"

The crowd responded with a long applause.

Jesus turned to his right, "You ready Iago?"

Iago was wearing a matador outfit, he had on a tricorne, one of those hats from the 18th and 19th Centuries that were popular among the stereotypical pirate and Englishmen of the period, it had a pink feather in it.

"I look ridiculous" Iago protested, "Are you sure about this?"

Jesus nodded, "Come on Senor, they'll love you! Besides it's fun."

Iago gave an uneasy nod. Frank W. Coyote, Wile E. Coyote's twin brother, was across from him, the coyote was also dressed in a matador outfit but his was more pristine.

"Alright you gringos" Frank began, his voice rougher than that of Wile E.'s but with a gentle tone, "Let's how you stack up against me!"

Frank pulled out a red cape from his sleeve and waved it in front of him. Jesus, in reality unaffected by the cape, took the cue and charged. Jesus went through the cape and disappeared, Frank, in a show off manner, presented both sides of the cape to the audience. Iago rolled his eyes, for he knew the trick well, he had done it enough times on both ends to know how it worked. Frank gave the cape a whip and Jesus appeared once more on the arena floor.

Jesus turned towards Iago. "Alright my friend" the bull said with a laugh, "Let's see how you do eh?"

Jesus charged towards Iago, who immediately followed his first instinct and took to the air, before he could far enough off the ground Frank pulled out a revolver and shot Iago's wings, bringing him to the ground in pain, Jesus still kept his current pace.

"Holy shit!" Iago exclaimed as he found his feet and started running, "This is not what I had in mind when you said we were going to have fun Jesus!"

Jesus laughed, "Relax amigo, just keep moving those stubby feet of yours and you'll be fine."

Iago was breathing heavily, trying to keep pace and not get trampled. Frank was on the other side of the arena, red cape posed and ready. Iago closed his eyes and broke out into a full on run, now he was at his top speed.

"There you go!" Jesus said encouragingly, "That's how you run my feathered friend. Fast and low is the way to go."

Iago's beak was pointed towards the ground, his head ready as if he were a battering ram about to break down a castle door. Iago ran between Frank's feet, Jesus reached Frank seconds later when they did the same trick that they did before. Iago came to a screeching halt, at that moment he heard sirens outside the ring.

Jesus, who was out of the cape at this point, turned towards Frank, Frank turned towards the audience, but found that the arena was completely empty.

"Uh guys" Iago said as he winced in pain from his gunshot wounds, "What the hell is going on?"

Frank sighed, "Bullfighting is illegal in Brazil Iago" the coyote answered, "It's only a small fine. Besides, the cops know me and Jesus well enough. We'll be fine."

Iago huffed in disbelief, "Yeah sure you two are fine, but what about me? They'll think I'm a terrorist if nothing else. You know because that's what you think of us Middle Easterns right?"

"Easterns is not a word" Jesus corrected, "You should have said, people from the Middle East. And no, we don't all think that, you need to go up north, that's where all that stuff is. Here...maybe, but not so extreme. Get your facts right."

Iago groaned and turned towards Frank, "And why did you shoot me?" he cried, "Was that really necessary? "

Frank shrugged, "Yes" he answered, "You were cheating."

"So that automatically gives you the right to shoot me in the wings!" Iago screamed

Frank shook his head, "No. Because I don't have the right, I have the privilege...besides it was fun."

"Yeah for you" Iago scowled, "Thanks to you Frankie Boy I'm goanna have to go to the hospital...again...and this time for me!"

Frank sighed, "Don't call me that" he warned, "Only Wile E. gets to call me that. To you it is just Frank."

Iago rolled his eyes and turned to face the approaching police officers, for there were two different sets of footsteps coming their way.

The first officer was a woman, about the average height of 5'8. She had blonde hair and with dark brown eyes that were hidden behind dark pilot sunglasses. Her uniform was ironed; the bars on her sleeve gave her the rank of Sergeant. The officer's lips were cherry red without lipstick; her fingernails were painted a nice hot pink. The badge that read Rio De Janeiro Police Department also had her name on it, Melissa Brooks.

The second officer wasn't exactly human, more on the lines of four legged and furry. The dog, a German Sheppard, had on a bullet proof vest, on its right shoulder was a walkie-talkie. The dog also had a badge that bore Rio's name as well as his own, Latchkey.

Brooks pulled out a notepad and looked Frank, Iago and Jesus over.

"Well well" she began, "Why am I not surprised?"

Brooks gave Frank a hard look

"Mr. Coyote are you aware that you are charged with five counts of illegal bullfighting in this area?"

Frank nodded, "Yes I am Ma'am, and I have a good reason for it this time."

Brooks rolled her eyes and turned towards Latchkey.

"Latchkey" Brooks said, almost barking at him, "Talk to these idiots will you, you're good at that. I'm going to go file a report and get us some damned backup. No reason why we have to be the only officers in the whole city who do our jobs."

Latchkey nodded and watched as Brooks made her way back towards the car. When he was sure that she was out of earshot, he turned towards the others and motioned them away from the area towards the middle of the arena.

"Alright Frank" Latchkey began, "What did you guys do this time?"

"Nothing" Frank replied, "Well...okay fine, we may have done a match. But it wasn't official or anything, more like a backyard type of deal. What's the problem anyway, Jesus didn't get hurt. I don't use the bandarilhas, you know that."

Latchkey nodded, "I know Frank, but that still doesn't change what the law is."

Jesus sighed, "Come on Senor do we really have to pay the fine? Can't you just give us a citation or something?"

Latchkey shook his head, "I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. Not qualified. Only Brooks or one of the other human officers can do that."

"Then talk to her" Iago suggested, "Tell her that we cooperated and that we're willing to stop if we get a citation."

Latchkey turned towards Iago, "Can't do that either Bird Brain" he replied, "Gave an oath of silence with the Sergeant, can't speak till I'm off the job."

Iago raised his eyebrows, "So you live with her?" he asked, hoping that it was not true.

"Thankfully not" Latchkey said in a hushed voice, "Brooks is terrible to tell you the truth. Good cop, but not a people person by any means. The only reason I'm here is because the force thought that I could calm her down. She's not one for affection either...I don't get shit from her, even on good days. That's why I have Lucille."

"Lucille?" Iago continued, "Who's that?"

Latchkey rolled her eyes, "Little girl" he answered, "Just turned eight this year. Her parents are always busy at work so I take care of her most of the time. Well...we take care of each other."

Jesus and Frank smiled at the mentioning of Lucille, for they knew her well, especially when she made lemonade in the summer months.

"How is she doing?" Jesus asked, "Good?"

Latchkey said nothing, ignoring Jesus for the moment. Brooks came back up, she did not look happy.

"Alright you bums get out of here" Brooks exclaimed to them, "Latchkey, you're released. Give that little shit of yours my best."

Latchkey growled in defense, Brooks only ruffled the fur on the top of his head to let him know that she was joking. Latchkey, despite this, sill maintained his growl, for he knew that in his heart Brooks meant every word that she said.

"God I hate her" Latchkey said under his breath as he took off his vest and put it in the back of the trunk just as Brooks got in the front seat and drove off.

Iago winced in pain once more, "Can we go to the hospital now?" he begged, "I'm starting to feel a little bit woozy."

Jesus shook his head sarcastically and nodded, "Fine you big baby, we'll go to the hospital. But afterwards, to Amazon's Rest for drinks!"

Frank laughed, "And not to mention the Senoras"

Jesus smiled and broke out into a run, leaving Frank and Latchkey to walk down the street to Amazon's Rest.


	16. By Happenstance

Chapter Five

By Happenstance

Donald woke up with a burlap sack on his head, his wings tied behind his back sitting in what he considered to be the most uncomfortable chair in the entire world.

"What's going on?" he asked, "Where am I?"

Silence answered him; the duck tried to see through the bag but only managed to make out the flickering light that was overhead.

"Do you know where you are?" a voice asked, it was gruff and barely recognizable.

Donald shook his head, "Please" he begged, "Let me go. I didn't do anything."

The voice laughed and removed the burlap sack revealing the owner to be Perry the Platypus. Donald noticed that they were in what appeared to be the back of an armored truck.

Perry moved casually around the back of the truck as if he were walking around the park. The platypus had a calm demeanor his smile was both welcoming and unsettling at the same time.

"Are you familiar with Fernando Miguel?" Perry began once again

Donald nodded, "Yes" he answered, "He's dead."

Perry sighed, for he feared this was the case. "Do you know what SADWOB is?" Perry continued

Donald nodded again, "The Scientist's Army Dedicated to Wiping out All Birds and Wildlife for the Betterment of Humanity for Scientific Research in The Effort for Curing Human Diseases."

"Really?" Perry exclaimed, "That's what that means?"

Donald nodded for a third time, "Yeah. Why what did you think it meant?"

Perry shrugged, "I thought it just meant SADWOB. Kind of like OWCA, it doesn't mean anything."

Donald raised his eyebrows in confusion as Perry opened the back door to the streets of Rio de Janeiro, directly in front of Amazon's Rest.

"What's the OWCA?" Donald asked curiously

"It's what I am" Perry answered, "The Organization without a Cool Acronym. It's a group of highly trained, extremely deadly animal secret agents."

Nigel appeared from an alleyway. Walking up towards the street, Donald noticed that Nigel's limp had gotten worse; it was as if at any minute he would fall flat on his face.

Perry turned towards Nigel, "You alright soldier?" he asked, "You look pretty beat up."

Nigel laughed and straightened his back; a cracking sound could be heard.

"I'm fine" he answered, "Just every day of my life."

Donald stepped out of the truck and looked around, the street was dead. This would change in the next two hours. Nigel motioned for Donald to follow him inside the bar, the duck did so. When Donald and Nigel were inside, Perry closed the door and the truck drove off.

Sitting down at the nearest table, Nigel and Donald ordered rounds. Donald was shaken up by being kidnapped for he had expected to be home by this hour; Nigel attempted to explain the situation as best he could.

"Perry is a contact" Nigel began, "I've been working with the OWCA in America to try and stop SADWOB."

Donald raised his eyebrows in confusion and leaned in as so to prevent unwanted ears from listening in.

"I thought that SADWOB was a Brazilian thing" Donald whispered, "Are you telling me that it's in America too?"

Nigel nodded, "SADWOB is everywhere. They have bases all over the world that we've been trying to find."

"Who's we?" Donald continued, "Are you OWCA?"

Nigel shrugged, "I am a bird of many talents Donald. Once I pull myself together there is nothing that I will not to do to protect those that I care about. Surely you can understand that?"

Donald nodded in understanding, "What does that have to do with anything?" he asked, "It's a very simple question, are you an agent or aren't you?"

Nigel shrugged again, "I'm a doctor Donald. Taking care of people is my business. I have a long standing arrangement with the Mafia and the OWCA. My connections are legitimate, Martinez Del Rio, you know him as the Don, is one such connection."

Donald shook his head. That was the fourth last name that he had heard for Martinez. He assumed that Martinez, being a Don, had multiple names and used certain names for certain people. Donald would later ask Martinez about this and discover that this is exactly the case. Donald quickly got back on subject.

"What about the police?" Donald pressed, "Do they know about this? About SADWOB?"

Nigel shook his head, "The police can't help us. If they make a move SADWOB will slip right under our beaks. No, we have to be discreet. That being said, I have an ace in the hole- Officer Latchkey, a German Sheppard. He's my eyes and ears on the streets."

Donald looked around for a waitress, he immediately flagged the first one he saw. The waitress was a cockatoo, similar to Nigel only her beak was a light pink and she didn't look like she got ran over by a car.

"What's your name sweetheart?" Donald asked

The cockatoo stared at Donald as if he were a mental patient; she then turned to Nigel who was ignoring her as if she wasn't standing right in front of him.

"Donald please" Nigel begged, "There's no reason for you trying to set an old bird like me up with this poor girl."

Donald laughed, "Come on Nigel, you're not that old."

Nigel huffed, "In human years I'm old enough to retire."

"So" Donald protested, "I've been around for 80 years look at me I'm doing fine. Come Nigel live a little bit."

Nigel shook his head, "I'm sorry Donald but I can't. It would compromise my good standing. Just being in here is already enough."

Nigel waved the waitress away. At the moment Iago, Jesus, Frank and Latchkey entered the bar.

"Alright my friends" Jesus exclaimed, "Who's ready for some fun?"

Latchkey looked to his left and saw Nigel; he let Iago, Jesus and Frank go on without him and walked over to Nigel and Donald's table.

"Come on Nigel" Donald said encouragingly still trying to get Nigel to loosen up, "Where else are you going to find a girl like that? She's prefect for you!"

Nigel rolled his eyes, "How can you say that when you barely know me Donald? How dare you try and set up with someone? How dare you!"

A voice let out a laugh from the table directly behind Donald, it was Rafael. He was sitting with Nico, Uncle Pedro, Pedro and Horatio's wife.

"And pray tell what is so funny?" Nigel continued

Jose Carioca was in the front of the room on the stage with an acoustic guitar sitting on a bar stool. Donald turned towards him, drowning out Nigel and Rafael's conversation. As soon as Donald saw the guitar he immediately stood up and walked on stage, for he was bound by a contract to Jose and Panchito to be on stage with them at all times. Donald wasn't necessarily happy with the arrangement

"So what's the plan Jose?" Donald said as he got on stage.

Jose's eyes widened as soon as he saw Donald, "Donald!" he cried, "I thought you were gone for America?"

Donald shrugged, "I was delayed. Looks like I'll be here for a few days longer."

Jose slapped Donald's back and motioned to the piano that was in the middle of the stage. Donald nodded, for whenever he took the piano it meant that he was the lead for the night. Panchito appeared from backstage, he was rolling a drum set to the upper left corner of the stage. Jose moved his stool to the right of Donald and waited for the cue.

Donald looked at Jose and then at Panchito.

"What are we doing?" he asked.

Jose shrugged, Panchito answered for him.

"Jose thinks that we should do a slow song to expand our repertoire. Have any ideas hombre?"

Donald had several ideas for slow songs, some of them slower than others. Donald smiled as he thought about the song he was going to play, for some reason he found it fitting. Jose, Panchito, Nigel, Jesus and Iago would all say the same thing. Rafael would say that the song, in addition to being fitting for the current situation, represented a new direction for the Three Caballeros.

Stop. Imagine yourself standing in a room surrounded by all of your family and friends, the people who care about you. You are sitting by a fire talking about days of the past and the better days ahead. You listen, you feel, for a moment it's as if time stops and everything that mattered ten seconds ago doesn't carry as much weight. The more you talk, the more you remember, the more you remember the more you wish for things to go back to the way that they were before. But you know, at least in your head, that things will never be as they were that you are changed either by time, experience or circumstance. Yet, for the briefest of moments, surrounded by those that you love, you are brought back to those days, what some people refer to as the golden days and you are happy, happy that you have these experiences, these memories and also happy that new ones are about to be created.

These were the feelings expressed in the song, which was an instrumental, and the feelings that were conveyed in Nigel, Rafael and Iago, who for some reason each collectively thought that the song was specifically for them.

Donald stopped. Jose and Panchito remained motionless; they didn't dare touch their instruments, for they would only interrupt and by default disturb the song. As soon as Donald's wings left the piano, Panchito took a moment to wipe his eyes before putting out a steady drum beat. Jose, in response, began playing a bouncy guitar riff. Together, these tunes created the Proclaimers' I'm Goanna Be otherwise known as 500 miles. Donald decided to opt out, for he simply hated anything that had to do with the Proclaimers and as such left the stage as quickly as he could.

At that moment Remy came running out of the bar kitchen, chasing him was Zaphora.

"Take it easy!" Remy yelled as he scrambled onto the bar counter, "This is all a big misunderstanding Zaphora, a really big misunderstanding."

Nigel and Rafael turned towards each other and then at Remy just as Jose and Panchito got to the first "Dah-Dah-Dah" of I'm Goanna Be.

"Do you think we should help him Doc?" Rafael asked

"It'd be sporting" Nigel replied, "Besides he might prove useful."

Rafael raised his eyebrows at this, confused by Nigel's meaning. Nigel however, ignored this and turned to Latchkey.

"Officer Latchkey" he began, "Arrest that woman. She is disturbing the peace, mainly my peace of mind."

Latchkey looked in Zaphora's general direction and simply observed, he wouldn't do anything until something serious occurred.

Remy jumped onto the wine rack behind the counter, Zaphora's eyes were burning red as if at any moment the fires of Hell would spew forth and burn the rat to a crisp.

"I'm goanna kill you!" Zaphora screamed, "How dare you insult me like that?"

"What?" Remy said innocently as he jumped onto a higher shelf, "All I said was that you have a grip like a hawk, your breath is horrible and you need to lose a few pounds. What's the harm in that?"

Zaphora laughed, "You're forgetting the crazy bitch part and the rat killer part and the I wish you were dead part and let's not forget the waste of air part, I really liked that one!"

Remy let out a nervous laugh as an answer and continued his run, just when he was about to run out of road, Rafael appeared before him and grabbed Remy with his right talon, with his left he casually flipped Zaphora off and flew back down to safety.

Zaphora attempted to direct her anger at Rafael but no sooner had she turned her head did Latchkey pin her down to the floor and promptly escort her out of the bar. Zaphora was screaming for Jose the entire time, who did not answer and simply continued to play as if nothing happened.

A male flamingo came flying through the bar door, he was sweating, some of his feathers were falling out, his eyes which were normally a yellow color were bloodshot red out of fear and desperation.

"Doctor, where's the doctor?" the flamingo screamed as he made his way around the room.

Nigel raised his wing, summoning the flamingo over.

"What's seems to be the trouble?" Nigel asked

"It's my wife" the flamingo answered hurriedly, "Something's wrong. I don't-I don't want but...I think it's time."

Nigel raised his eyebrows in confusion, for the words "it's time" could mean anything.

"Is she dying?" Nigel asked, going through the list in his head.

The flamingo thankfully shook his head.

Nigel didn't even bother to ask more questions. He hurried out of the bar, following the flamingo to its mate who was lying on the floor in extreme pain.

"She's contracting" Nigel exclaimed suddenly, "It's alright everything's fine."

Nigel moved towards the other flamingo, he checked her pupils were which dilated, he then moved towards her other end and spread her legs apart.

_"Well this is unconventional and impossible."_ Nigel thought to himself, _"But hey it's a comedy, realism was out the door a long time ago."_

The male was breathing ecstatically and had random outbursts of screams, laughter and gibberish. Nigel only suffered about three minutes of this until he turned around and slapped him senseless.

"Get a hold of yourself!" Nigel screamed, "You're making things worse. Now do me a favor and tell me her name!"

The male was confused as to why Nigel was asking this, Nigel gave a quick explanation.

"Sir, this will be a lot easier if you tell her name."

The male said nothing, too in shock in answer.

Nigel rolled his eyes and turned back towards the female.

"Your name is Laura, okay? Answer only to that until this is over."

The female nodded and screamed once again, the contractions were getting worse by the minute. Nigel however, remained completely calm.

"Laura on my count you're going to push. Okay?"

The female nodded again, showing her compliance.

Nigel turned towards the male and motioned for him to get next to her.

"Show a little class man!" Nigel screamed, "She's your wife for Heaven's sake. Hold her wing and never let go just like you promised."

The male nodded and held his mate's wing in a death grip. Nigel gave the command to push. The beginnings of an egg were starting to come out.

"I can see it" Nigel said victoriously, "Laura look at your husband, keep your eyes on him-"

Laura did as she was told and turned towards her husband.

"Very good" Nigel continued, "Now...three...two...one...Push!"

Nigel stared at the egg and then back at her, giving the command to push again. She did so with a small scream, the male's grip got a little tighter.

"Okay" Nigel said as he wiped his brow, "One last push. Make it count, Laura. Three...two...one...Push like your life depends on it!"

Laura gave one last push, each second was a little harder for her, the scream only intensified. The resulting egg came out, it was covered in a bit of blood but otherwise it was perfectly fine. All that was left now was to wait.

"Thank you" the male said gratefully, "I don't know what would've happened if you weren't there."

Nigel shook him off, "You don't have to thank me. It's my job."

"Well then" the male continued, "We must pay you. We don't have much I must admit but I'm a good worker sir. Anything you need just ask."

Nigel smiled, "No payment is necessary. I consider my job charity work if nothing else."

The male laughed in confusion, "Well then how do you eat?"

Nigel shrugged, "Donations mostly. I also cook. But I don't really have a steady source of income at the moment. Brains don't get the buck in this world, you have brawn too, I'm afraid I don't have much of that."

The male shook his head in disbelief, for he had forgotten the formalities.

"Eduardo" he answered, "This is my wife Isabella. Eh, what is your name?"

Nigel laughed innocently, embarrassed that he not only forgot to mention his name but that the flamingo had to start the greeting first. Nigel was close to giving his first name when he heard this, but for some reason he found it proper to give his ridiculously long full name.

"Edgar Nigel Romero Williamson Pendleton Jacobson Lewis Nightingale Cockatoo the Sixth" Nigel answered, "Most people call me Nigel. My family calls me Eddie."

Eduardo shook Nigel's hand gratefully, "Then that is what shall call him" he exclaimed, "Nigel."

Nigel raised his eyebrows, "How do you know it's a boy, it's an egg?"

Eduardo gave a heartfelt laugh, "Do you have children Senor?"

Nigel shook his head, "I've never even been in the company of a woman for that long. Poor self image I'm afraid."

Eduardo and Isabella stared at Nigel and then back at each other, their faces were filled with pity and a hint of understanding. Eduardo smiled and continued with his earlier thought.

"Well when you do. You just know...Don't worry Senor, you'll find someone eventually."

Nigel nodded for the sake of Eduardo and Isabella despite the fact that he knew and believed that such a thing was not possible. Nigel bowed respectfully, something that he always did after a birth seeing new life as some kind of royalty, the cockatoo then turned around and made his way back to the bar. Before he could out of earshot, Isabella called after him.

"Why Laura?" she asked.

Nigel turned around, a glimmer was in his eye, it almost sad, but it also had a hint of laughter mixed in.

"Laura was my human once...she was everything to me." Nigel answered, "I never thought I could love someone more completely. It was almost as if we were made for each other."

"What happened?" Isabella pressed

"We were separated" Nigel said as he moved back towards them, "The house we were going to wouldn't be enough to accommodate me. So Laura put me up for adoption, I traveled the world with different owners, eventually finding myself alone on the streets of Rio."

Eduardo scratched his head out of confusion, "Why didn't you go to the Nature Reserve, they have a whole set up for the homeless. They could've helped you."

Nigel shook his head, "The shelter didn't exist, I should know, I founded it. Built it with the money I earned doing odd jobs on the street and an illegal smuggling operation, something that I wear in shame. It doesn't matter."

Nigel turned towards Isabella and gave the answer that she wanted.

"I called you Laura because it was the most beautiful name I could think of. When someone is in labor they deserve to be called beautiful, even when they're going through so much pain. At the moment you are the seven hundredth and fifty seventh Laura that I've met...the first flamingo I will say."

Nigel stared at the egg and then at the new parents.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Nigel asked, "Just to make sure that everything's all right?"

Eduardo shook his head, "We couldn't ask you to do that. You've done enough, more than enough. We thank you."

Nigel nodded, turned around and walked back into the bar to the sound of Jose and Panchito repeating I'm Goanna Be for the third time in a row.


End file.
